paint your wagon and come along

January 30, 2002

When I take over the country, I'm going to make two major changes:

1.) Everyone will be required to wear a beard. Women, children, and men unable to grow facial hair will be permitted to wear long, white, Santa-style fake beards. Being seen outside of your home without a beard will result in a five dollar fine.

2.) Once everyone reaches an appropriate age - fourteen or so - they will be required to annually appear before an Inquisition-like court and explain why they don't deserve a good ass kicking. If the court rules that they need an ass kicking, they'll get a beat down. Nothing too severe, just a little soreness and bruising. They'll be fine in a week.

My country is going to be the bestest ever!!!1!

(I fell asleep during Ye Olde State O' the Union Address, and I dreamed about watching political debates. My brain doesn't wander too far.)

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