February 28, 2001
stereotypical pirates say - "Arrr", of course.
couples naked sail - And why wouldn't they?
sanitary napkin belt - Bleh.
"How I Learned to Drive" - I never did.
teenies pants gallery -porn -pussy - And even with making the search query more specific, they ended up here.
Britt Reames Picture - I wish Britt Reames didn't have to be an Expo this season.
pig image gallery - And a sweet pig drawing they found, too.
drunken - That describes me, never.
dodger stadium - Ummm... no.
music twins 11:30 - ??? The fuck?
In other news, someone translated one of my "Ask a Pirate" arrrchives into German. Gotta wonder what that person was hoping to find.
[4:34:06 AM | permalink!]
February 27, 2001
pictures of the chevy avalanche - I really can't help anyone there.
nude pies of the backstreet boys - As much as I want to pretend this search request wasn't a typo, I know better.
"Your story has become tiresome" - I know. I'm sorry. (I'm number one!)
aol surveys bored - I always want AOL surveys when I'm bored, too.
John Madden's bus - I am truly honored to be ranked so high in the results for this one.
your momma's so - Your momma's so fat, when she walks down the street, she really walks down the street.
damir krupalija - Or, as Mom likes to call him, "Crap-pop-ula". (I usually go with "Count Chocula" or "Baldpalija", myself.)
[4:13:38 AM | permalink!]
February 26, 2001
Apparently, it was Celebrity/Sports Figures Day:
garrett stephenson,
scott lasky/pictures of scott lasky/scott lasky photos,
chris pronger,
Rick Ankiel pictures,
mr. t vs.,
JD Drew,
nude pics of chelsea clinton, and, of course,
Brian Giles
And there's more!
"like pie" - Pie is tasty.
what shall we do with a drunken sailor - Fry 'im, serve 'im hot.
[4:43:53 AM | permalink!]
i wnat my cunt fucked - I can't help you there. Or, "I cna't help you", if you find that makes more sense.
mis-porn - I show up three times on four results in this search.
robotic jellyfish - Mention 'em once, get several hits a day! Those things are cool, though.
What are pirate rope knots called?+ - Contrary to what visitors might think, I know next to nothing about pirates.
sex phantom of the opera phan fic - Slash, one would hope.
"Elizabeth Montgomery" sexy - Is that a saying?
icq babe pussy - I don't understand.
birthday pie - It's worlds better than birthday cake!
buy pirate clothes - Don't tell me what to do.
[1:09:13 AM | permalink!]
February 24, 2001
cold pizza - That's just odd.
12 INCHES OF SNOW - Again, it's not disturbing, just odd. It's also surprising that I come in so high on the results.
crushing cans - I get a lot of hits for this. Is it some sort of fetish I haven't heard about before?
"animal tattoos" - I'll pass. I bet the searcher was fully satisfied with my "Official List of Crap", though.
pirate nude boy - Well, maybe Jason Kendall will pose for a calendar or something...
battlebot web rings - As relevant as my page seemed from the text - "... thinking about signing up for free web space? Just now, I was checking ... I need to build
a battlebot. [4:14:06 AM | ]. I ... Oh, my! Onion rings!" [6:14:46 PM | ]. By ... " - it isn't.
chris pronger commercials - Gotta wonder if they wanted the ESPN commercial, the Chevy's Fresh Mex commercials, or both.
[4:34:38 AM | permalink!]
supermen - Obviously, a fan of Michael's work.
a night at the roxbury AIM icon - Who would think those would be in demand?
Recovering hotmail passwords - Naturally, I assume this person was up to no good.
[3:31:46 AM | permalink!]
February 23, 2001
Chevy's Salsa - That is some tasty stuff. I would try the "Top Secret Recipes" version if I wasn't too lazy to make it.
nude mex boys - None present.
"fallen in love with a priest" - I don't even see my site in the search results...
mothra picture galleries - Umm... why?
"new movie ideas" - I have a lot of those. Most of them involve a dog playing pickle ball.
Taco Bell hoops - There are a lot of those in this house, it's just a matter of finding them.
the muffin man notes - Notes to the song, or notes to/from The Muffin Man himself?
[3:42:45 AM | permalink!]
February 21, 2001
The Faux Show - A fake show? That's something I think that I could do.
Jim Edmonds (home pictures) - When you see the text around the result - "... the subject of Cardinals' pictures, this is one of ... proud, pregnant father of Jim
Edmonds at the company picnic ... to resist Shop At Home deals as awesome ... " - it's easy to understand why the searcher would be curious.
Jim Edmonds links - Were they coming for the "Scott Lasky/Rick Ankiel porn gallery" or the "Jim Edmonds T-shirts"?
rick ankiel picture galleries - I'm the only result for this search. Amazing.
flammable house objects - Beavis would be so excited.
[4:10:47 AM | permalink!]
February 20, 2001
"my pleather" - Pleather rules!
"chris pronger" wife - Sim Chris Pronger and Lauren were married in his bathroom. Real Chris Pronger isn't married yet.
[4:01:45 AM | permalink!]
porn lingo - I don't think people use "pork" to mean sex often enough.
we polked 'em - In '44? I think... I might have that slogan wrong. I'm still the number one result, though.
lip piercing - No, thank you.
[2:11:19 AM | permalink!]
February 18, 2001
Chris Pronger Nude - It was only a matter of time.
Gamera theme song - Again, I'm surprised someone would bother to look through so many results to get to me.
www.stlcardinals.org and tastys.com - I get a lot of hits from people searching domains, usually with the words "tasty" or "pirate" involved.
[4:04:16 AM | permalink!]
nothing at all - You wouldn't think that would be hard to find.
forest porn gallery - Porn in a forest? Porn involving people named Forest? Hmmm.
bud bowl - I miss Bud Bowl.
blogger by a 13 year old - Why?
[3:34:24 AM | permalink!]
February 16, 2001
"cum on bread" - I bet you can figure out the recipe for that on your own, searcher. (I come up second on this search. How special.)
go-go boots - I'm just surprised someone bothered to look through over 60 results...
[4:02:12 AM | permalink!]
February 15, 2001
google nifty org - This is a nifty org. I don't know if it's a google nifty org, but definitely a nifty org.
"wonder years" e-cards - It's a good idea, but you can't find 'em here.
santa porn - Like, who doesn't want to see Santa nekkid and getting naughty?
any pictures of Rick Ankiel - This searcher is not picky, and still must not have been happy with my site. (I was the eighth result, despite not having a single picture of Rick Ankiel. Fun.)
[4:05:12 AM | permalink!]
"Evil names" - David Bryant?
[1:21:21 AM | permalink!]
February 13, 2001
Townsend Boy Band - I think Townsend may be a little old to join a "boy band".
"Most romantic marriage proposal" - I guess someone is preparing for Valentine's Day. (I'm a little surprised that this didn't turn up more results.)
[4:05:08 AM | permalink!]
February 12, 2001
i'm too big - For what? The rocket ship ride at Chuck E. Cheese?
cat shit - There's a lot of that here.
Chris Pronger Fan Web Sites - I'm a fan of Chris Pronger, and this is my web site. Technically, I think this was a relevant result.
blogger gallery nude - They don't just want a a nude gallery, they want one created using blogger.
"you don't have to take your clothes of" - Good, because I'm not sure I know how to take my clothes of.
"aquafina bottle" - Can't help you there, buddy.
[4:11:11 AM | permalink!]
February 11, 2001
moveabout.com - I'd like to know what happened to that site, myself.
porn phantom of the opera phan fic - Sadly, I was the only result for that search.
arr! pirate landlubber - Exactly.
[4:06:54 AM | permalink!]
February 10, 2001
lily's eyes - "Bob Cuccioli: Let's do "In Lily's Eyes" now." That would draw anyone in. I'm proud to be listed in the top ten for that one.
most comfortable chair - Why, those are located at the Assembly Hall!
won't you be my neighbor - Only if you'll move in next door to me.
duratuss 6 - There's a variety of Duratuss that I haven't been prescribed?
[4:17:32 AM | permalink!]
February 9, 2001
hot incest fun - None of that going on at this site, Bucko. Not even if it's fun.
church skits for couples - I'm not sure why I came up second on this one. Hmm.
download ftp warm up games crack - I can't help you with the "download ftp warm up games", but maybe I can help you with the "crack".
find me pictures of nude thirteen year olds - (No link, it's too icky.) You're very, very sick, and I don't like your tone, Searcher. I can see why you would look through over 100 results and be lured in by the text summary of my site, though. Loser. ("... that I don't have any nude pictures and won't have cyber or ... how much older a lot of
those thirteen-year-olds looked than me. It's sad. _____ ... ")
[4:28:16 AM | permalink!]
February 8, 2001
muffin man card - Hmmm. Do they want to send someone a birthday card featuring the Muffin Man (who lives on Drury Lane)?
Tasty Pirate - The interesting thing is that the other results don't seem to have anything to do with tasty pirates at all.
Also: better if it was hockey commercials and Chocolate Lasagna. Stats are fun.
[4:14:57 AM | permalink!]
February 7, 2001
Today's "Scott Lasky" related searches:
scott lasky (5)
scott lasky nude
"Scott Lasky" pictures
"scott lasky fan club"
Also, I got a hit for "cheese yield", from someone using the Spanish version of google. Yield to cheese, indeed.
[4:14:13 AM | permalink!]
February 6, 2001
"é pokémon reason" - That's just odd. I can't come up with what this person was going for at all.
"grape fruit juice" - I came up high on this search (out of "about 68,200" results) because I accidentally wrote "grapefruit" as two seperate words in an entry.
"rick ankiel is cute" - Well, yeah, kind of, if you like that type. I don't elaborate on that anywhere on this site, though.
"photos of cartoon sharks" - Or you could look for the original drawing of the cartoon shark - whichever.
[4:35:03 AM | permalink!]
February 5, 2001
A few interesting ones today:
whip crack video,
snow floors for the sims; and, oddly enough,
strange search queries.
If, by "snow floors", they mean that they want to make it look like winter on their game, that's a pretty good idea. They need specific seasons. Couldn't you just create a white floor tile and import it to the game, though? It should work.
I also got a hit for "Hal Sparks" nude. I can't imagine that would be very exciting.
[4:14:40 AM | permalink!]
February 4, 2001
I was guessing that I got a hit for "chris pronger marriage" because I told about my Sim Chris Pronger getting married in his bathroom, but it really just led to some blog archives.
[4:14:38 AM | permalink!]
February 2, 2001
Nothing too out there today, but the searches for battlebot movies and chelsea clinton gallery (which I got two hits for, from an Italian search engine) caught my eye.
And, of course, I got my daily hits for searches on scott lasky nude. I am, after all, number one.
[4:17:54 AM | permalink!]
Nothing here just yet!
Let's see if this works...
[2:16:19 AM | permalink!]
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