March 31, 2001
hardcare girl - She's tough, but you know she cares.
[4:58:48 PM | permalink!]the simpsons fake pics - Or, "Simpsons Fan Art".
nude pics montgomery - That city just never puts its clothes on! Skank.
nude Through Snow pics - "Through Snow" is capitalized? Hmm...
chevy's salsa recipe - Several relevant hits came up before my site.
NUDE SIMPSONS - WHY AM I GETTING SO MANY HITS FOR THIS SEARCH?
http:messages.clubs.yahoo - I'm surprised so few pages show up in this search.
"j.d. drew" and "God" - They occasionally go out to brunch. Err, wait - That's Robert Tilton. Drew just has a God who knows his name.
funny pirate - He plunders other people's jokes, and sells them on the black market.
[4:55:42 PM | permalink!]fuckin cum get off - So, yeah. Pretty much this and a bunch of gay porn.
aol im cyber sex - It's a text book example.
nude nickelodeon cartoons - "I wanna see CatDog (?) nekkid." - MIchael
madagascar porn galleries - Way hotter than those Sri Lanka porn galleries, that's for sure!
worlds funniest nude galleries - I come in third on that search. My nude galleries are hilarious!
"i like pie" - Another one that I was bound to get a hit for.
college girls gone bad videos - Well, don't eat 'em.
moo cow nude - Have you ever seen a "moo cow" fully clothed? That would be more exciting, really.
pittsburgh pirate tickets - (The link doesn't like working.) You would think I offered these, but I don't.
[3:55:37 AM | permalink!]March 29, 2001
27 march 2001 nude pics sites - Now that is getting specific.
nude ivy league college girls pics - I'm not fit for the Ivy Leagues or posing nude, so I really can't help you.
pirate themed parties - You get drunk and plunder the host's home. It's a lovely way to spend an evening.
loco bar - "All the crazies are out tonight."
the sims uncensored pics - I've seen my Sims nude. It's rather unimpressive.
crack nameplanet.com - Fine...
[4:11:43 AM | permalink!]March 28, 2001
pics of the Simpsons having sex - As in the cartoon characters? I actually received some pics of that in an email once, but I neither saved it nor posted it here.
asthma ladybugs - I've never heard of a relationship between asthma and ladybugs, but now I'm mildly curious.
wild drunken party pics - w00! I am so in the mood for a wild drunken party.
drew-nude - Umm... OK. What's "drew-nude"?
Orange Boxes - Only the orange ones will do. (Or are they looking for boxes containing oranges?)
cartoon pog wall - There are entirely too many POGs around here, but no cartoon walls with them.
Porkins - The man who made Star Wars great. Keep on truckin', Porkins!
"regional sports report" - I love you, Regional Sports Report. Especially when you show filler of Reed Low and Brent Johnson going to Best Buy.
Whys is the sky blue? - It's not. It's all colors. I could explain that better if I knew how.
movie and favicon - That's a little disjointed.
pirate mermaid - They don't even need ships!
What should i do for a career? - I think I might be the last person on Earth who you should ask for advice on that subject, kid. But, if you must ask me, I think you should go into the whoring business.
internet detective spy crack - You would think I would have that handy, but I don't.
[4:10:15 AM | permalink!]March 27, 2001
"wild pictures" - Pictures of wild animals, pictures of people acting wild, pictures of the Minnesota Wild... You'll really have to be more specific.
nifty.org - Why not just go to the URL? (IT's a lot more porn related than I expected.)
pie birthday - I hope you don't plan to eat it. Happy birthday, indeed.
+arm "weak and achy" - I am amazed that I'm number one on this search.
nude pics of Link from Zelda - He's a cartoon elf creature. How exciting could those possibly be?
elizabeth montgomery nude - I'm always posting nude pics of classic TV stars.
Damir Krupalija pictures - I've been getting a lot of hits for searches on this guy. I'm guessing that people were watching the NCAA Tournament and thought, "Damn, this guy is hot." They are right. I don't have any pictures of him, though. I don't show up in those search results, either, which is mighty perplexing.
how to cast a spell - "You always want more eye of newt! If it was up to you, there would be nothing but newt eyes." I'm sure I misquoted that.
pictures of Link having sex with Zelda - Why the interest in Legend of Zelda porn?
"Girls gone wild" "pirate" - Hmmm. Girls going wild with a pirate?
coloring pictures of piglet and tiger - Awwww... I want those, too.
is chan ho park really good? - Based on what I've seen, not really. Not bad, though.
[5:00:01 AM | permalink!]March 26, 2001
you know you're obsessed with les mis - ... when you do a search on that phrase.
a little something on the side - It's just such an odd thing to search.
oompa loompa costumes - Paint yourself orange, hold your arms awkwardly, and walk on your knees. There you are.
how to chop top - Bloody hell?
why did pirates say arr - Because I said so.
cum on bread - I'm proud to show up in the top ten results on that search.
[4:06:04 AM | permalink!]March 25, 2001
Rick Ankiel and porn - But not necessarily porn involving Rick Ankiel. It would be nice to have both Rick Ankiel and porn in one convenient location.
friday the 13th picks - I choose cheddar for Friday the 13th.
cat won't stop meowing - Maybe she's in heat, or wants canned food.
virgins having sex - And then they aren't virgins. Unless they're, say, cell phone virgins.
what kangaroos eats - I'm not sure why you would need to go through 226 sites to find that one out.
[4:04:58 AM | permalink!]March 24, 2001
Phantom of the Opera piano - Yeah... I really don't think I helped this searcher out much.
combeferre - I can definitely see where this searcher would be drawn to my page.
"made with real cheese" - Fake cheese just isn't worth it.
enjolras -delphin - I'm more interested in Enjolras WITH delphin.
feminine boy hormones - They're special, you know.
pud pirates - The hell?
[4:50:56 AM | permalink!]March 23, 2001
donkey cock fuck - Kinky.
"AA" "sober" "female" "horny" - At least they know what they want.
policemen in leather - I like my policemen in pleather.
Bud Bowl "Bud Bowl" - Need I say more?
fruit nude sex - That sounds art gallery worthy.
[11:49:14 PM | permalink!]March 22, 2001
dominos noid, "bad andy" picture dominos - Gotta love those evil Dominos advertisement guys.
wayne garth Chelsea Clinton - I must not be the only one who noticed the changes in that skit.
tasty-pirate - This searcher likely got exactly what they were looking for. If they weren't trying to find me, this is rather odd.
"bill braski" - "Bill Braski's a sonofabitch!" He was also the horniest mouse ever.
"gallivant" - OK!
funny meth ad - They used to show that during reruns of The Simpsons quite often. It sucked.
mets buddy icon aim - Ewww.
horny female in prison - Jonesin' for some conjugal visit sex, eh?
one eyed pirate man - He would make a cool superhero or supervillain. "One Eyed Pirate Man is coming!"
osmond movie script - Once you hit result 180-something, it's pretty safe to say you're not going to find exactly what you're looking for.
gay pirate him - Hmmm.... Maybe they meant to type "Gay Pirate Jim". He sounds lovable.
"blow up dolphin" - Poor dolphin! That sounds painful.
stickmans.com - Again, probably a good idea to try the location bar.
[4:26:43 AM | permalink!]March 21, 2001
pirate dressed in porn - I'd like to see that. Maybe he could make a little suit out old copies of Hustler. He'd have to be at least 18 to wear it.
J.D. Drew sucks - Actually, he's coming along nicely. He himself might suck, but don't knock the skills.
Rick Ankiel sucks - Awww... You still want to see him nude, right?
tobi foster - What, no "sucks"?
pirate christmas - Plunder up some presents, light up the ship, drink some rum...
"pirate jokes" bad - None of those good pirate jokes for you!
[11:17:25 PM | permalink!]March 20, 2001
merlin AIM buddy icon - "Merlin, isn't it wonderful?" "No, boy!"
rhino kites - I have a Big Bruno kite.
pirate desire kiss - Poor pirate. I'm rootin' for ya, buddy!
scurvy wench - "Arrrr, matey! She be needin' the vitamin C!"
cancel namezero - I don't have the authority to do that.
"chris pronger " "teeth" - He's still got a few.
Pimping - I'm number one! I am The Pimp Daddy.
[4:34:47 AM | permalink!]March 19, 2001
"Chris Richard" "July 17, 2000" - He hit a HR in his first at bat. Then we traded him to the Orioles in that Will Clark deal, I think.
i heart blogger - I guess. It's been down an awful lot lately, though.
old books - I have some, but not here.
nude male cam - Just one? I have more than you can shake a stick at!
[4:12:57 AM | permalink!]"sex with grandma" - Is the search itself or the fact that they went through over 170 results more disturbing?
cast a spell.com - Or, you could go to that URL. I'm just sayin'.
Jim Edmonds' screen name - Yeah, like he wouldn't change that within a few hours of my getting ahold of it. I would be harassing him about what kind of eyeliner he wears, and the like.
im not a playa i just crush a lot - I'm amazed I came up second on that one.
blogger sarah - I guess my site was kind of relevant, but how did the search engine know my name?
[3:23:41 AM | permalink!]March 17, 2001
my roomate nude photos - I have neither a roommate nor nude photos, but Google thought that this was the fourth most relevant site for the search. I highly doubt that's true.
"best spam email" - I got that once, but I can't remember what it was now. Couldn't have been too thrilling.
highsocks - More players should go with that look.
site pirate - Not a particularly interesting search in itself, but the search engine is neat.
[5:05:15 AM | permalink!]menu bar images - Why? I got several hits for this today, too.
frito bandito picture - That guy took my Fritos once. Bastard.
JP DOUGHTY - Talented guy, him.
where+can+I+find+information+on+the+steroetypical+drunk+Irish - Here, obviously. We're all about stereotypical drunk Irish.
"continuous orgasm" - That's what this page is: One long orgasm.
[3:04:51 AM | permalink!]March 15, 2001
teletubbies picture - Ewww...
cream pie fights - I don't know... Fun, maybe, but I still think it sounds like a horrible waste of perfectly good pie.
fonzie loser - Yeah, you just WISH you were as cool as Fonzie!
mary kate porno - You forgot Ashley.
PIRATE STUFF - I guess I might be able to help, a little.
tasty pics.com - Or, you could use the location bar.
image comic gallery - If they thought my pig was funny, they may have been satisfied.
pirate and women - I'm sorry, but no.
teenies,org - I'll supply the org, you get the teenies,.
old pirates - Old Pittsburgh Pirates?
[4:27:54 AM | permalink!]March 14, 2001
tasty asses - Like, donkeys?
Illinois pageants - I am so into the IL pageant scene.
"2000 NCAA Tournament Brackets" - I really do have some of those, somewhere. I don't intend to post them, though.
MTOC - So Michael can't keep using that as the name of his nonexistent company without confusing people? Damn.
Seth Bowling- Do they want info on that member of the 3NT, or do they want to see someone named Seth do some bowling? Probably the former.
[11:51:32 PM | permalink!]free 15-17 year old nude galleries - You know, they didn't specify if they wanted males or females. That might have dropped my site lower than sixth on the results.
snapple twisted cap tricks code - I thought that promotion was long over. Maybe they're doing it again...
"finger puppet" rack - My mom might be able to help you with that one. She's forever making/building stuff.
[2:47:27 AM | permalink!]March 12, 2001
"32c bras" - They are somewhat elusive.
"the cure" skin sims - If it had been a Chris Pronger skin you needed, then maybe I could have helped you.
fets.com galleries pirate* - The result that my site beat out may be much more relevant. It's hard to say.
rat musty smell - My rat doesn't smell musty.
bad call brick - Stop reminding me! I won't pass up my next opportunity to buy one.
PIE2K - That was a good web site.
perverted - I'm not that perverted.
[4:15:49 AM | permalink!]March 11, 2001
jim edmonds at blues games photos - If I had done a TV screen capture of the one game, I could have had Jim Edmonds, Mike James, Matt Morris, and Chris Pronger all together at a Blues game, eating, yawning and looking generally disinterested. But I didn't.
"fanny may chocolate" - I'm third on that search? The Fanny May chocolate I mentioned was over four years old and, thus, less chocotastic than most.
pirate bondage - Someone looked through over 240 results, and they ended up here, with no pirate bondage to be found. It's sad, really.
"mike James" cardinal picture - He is awfully cool. The piercings work for him.
Young and tasty - Pretty much sums me up...
picture archives nude sex - (The link doesn't work, but it looks like they were searching my site directly for this string.) As opposed to new pictures of fully-clothed sex, I guess.
[4:21:01 AM | permalink!]March 10, 2001
pirates mas games - There are no pirate games, let alone mas pirate games, here.
snow barefoot - Two things that always go well together.
bill gates girlfriends - One of this site's major focuses, of course.
"transfer tapes to cds" - I show up in the top 10 of that search? That's a surprise.
ivy league college - No one here is getting in to any of those.
[4:04:33 AM | permalink!]March 9, 2001
horizontal pirate - "None of them vertical pirates for me!"
rogaine chest - I'm partial to the "comb-over chest" look, myself.
riding the bullet download free pirate - Hmmm.
backyard nude photos - Blast! They found all of those nude pics of me in the backyard!
oh i went to a party and who did i see peter pan peanut butter - "Deal, deal, deal, deal with Neal, deal, deal..."
buying pirate tickets - This is so obviously the on-line hub of Pirate ticket sales.
the first time i sucked cock was - How would I know? I'll guess January 12th, though, for fun.
"guy gizmo" - Not exactly my area of expertise...
girls scans - They're not too picky - anything scanned by a girl will do.
scott lasky chest - There's an odd medical condition. (Not to be confused with "rogaine chest".)
[4:18:36 AM | permalink!]March 8, 2001
"chris pronger " driving - Do you want to hear about him driving hard to the net, or just tooling around town, looking for a place to buy new DVDs?
"Michael ball" nude - Ewww... I really hope they were looking for someone other than Pingin.
fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - I'm the one and only result! I don't offer any relevant info on "fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee", though.
real pictures of girls gone wild - *sigh*
bad andy from dominos - As opposed to, say, Bad Andy from Pittsburgh.
chuck-e cheese and billy bob - Billy Bob would so kick his ass.
[4:04:37 AM | permalink!]March 7, 2001
digital cable pirate - We have digital cable, but there's no pirating.
ahoi arrrrrrrrr - I'm your one and only source for "ahoi arrrrrrrrrr" (as far as google is concerned).
pirate haven, madagascar - They have the wee chamelions, right?
gary hall jr nude - That's a new one.
Rick Ankiel/ Chris Pronger - There's a fun hybrid.
the simpsons uncensored version - Those Simpsons episodes are pretty much just hardcare porn before the network censors get ahold of them, you know.
Legend of Mana Image Galleries - I just have the one image of the Pirate Penguins.
rob reiner roast sounds - I imagine there would be some sizzling.
duratuss GO - Run, Duratuss, run! Hurry! (It's probably just a variety of the drug.)
"my left ear" - You won't find your ear here, buddy.
[4:15:21 AM | permalink!]March 6, 2001
search queries - Right here, Sport.
picture galleries for Az-Zahir Hakim of the St. Louis Rams - Don't have that, but I did mention someone wearing one of his jerseys once. I think that's just as exciting.
"daylight savings time' - It's coming, I promise! In the meantime, feel free to look through over 350 search results to find one of my entries.
pirate alchemy - Pirates were heavy into alchemy, I would imagine.
lip piercing facts - It tends to hurt.
blood orgy 2 - It lacked the heart of the original "blood orgy". Some things just don't need sequels.
[5:12:37 AM | permalink!]March 5, 2001
boy fairy - I was quoting The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and happened to title an entry "fairy boy".
phantom of the opera sex fic - I'm getting daily hits for this search (or something close). The Phans must be growing up.
Old Navy coupon for dog - I get many a hit for "Old Navy coupons", but this is a first...
how to peirce your own bellybutton - Can't you just have a professional do this in a sterile environment? It's not something that desperately needs to be done immediately, after all. It's not like having to remove your own infected tooth on a desert island. It's just body decor.
"can you do no less" "join me or die" - I can't believe only two web sites showed up on this search! That was a great Simpsons moment.
real cousins having sex - Does it really matter if they're "real" cousins? As long as you have no reason to believe they aren't, it should be just as exciting.
sexy clown - *shudder* Clowns...
play slingo - There's something I haven't done in a long time.
proehl+-football+-ricky+-nfl - (Link doesn't work.) They must not want my Sims Ricky Proehl, then.
pot brownies - I wish I still had that email about the pot brownies.
what do you do with a drunken sailor - I don't know. I've never had one. I imagine I would just leave him alone, unless he was bothering me. Then, I would call the cops. Or if he was trying to drive like that, I would wrestle him for his keys. That's terribly dangerous.
college girls gone wild pictures - See?
[4:21:39 AM | permalink!]jurassic park command compound - I think this is in our basement now.
PATCH THE PIRATE.ORG - Couldn't they just try putting in the actual URL?
empty tournament brackets - I can't find myself in the search results, but I probably did type that phrase somewhere.
pet porn - I was 103 in this search. Someone was trying awfully hard for pet porn.
"girls gone wild videos" - I probably should never have mentioned those. I have a feeling I'll be seeing this one a lot.
[2:33:28 AM | permalink!]March 4, 2001
(My main stats page hasn't worked for the past few days. Feh.)
drunken sailor paroles - They let that guy off? That's insane!
hello kitty calendar downloading - Good for it.
game archives pirate - Again, I can't help you.
j d drew nude pictures - Why would anyone want that? (I am, of course number one for this search. I am so the place for nude sports personalities and Scott Lasky.)
drunken monkey aim buddy - As much as I would like to help with that one, I can't.
"rick ankiel" dance - Is that a command, or a new dance craze? Either way, I like it.
Simpsons- after hours (angelfire) - I think it's pretty obvious that this is not an angelfire site. That must have been disappointing.
[1:55:27 AM | permalink!]March 1, 2001
tasty girls - I'd add lemon juice, maybe a little pepper...
"I am a loser" - My showing up in that search could not be more appropriate.
oompa loompa physics - That's puzzling.
"muck the fets" - I intend to. After all, I show up twice in the three results.
bar wench cleavage - Not just any cleavage - bar wench cleavage.
St. Louis Cardinals Macarena - I don't know what this is, but I am intrigued.
pimp sites - I can do that.
[4:15:26 AM | permalink!][blogger!]
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