see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
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blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
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10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

February 28, 2003 @ 03:33:08 AM

pirate unit
That's a lot of hooks.

mullet search
Well, that kills my need for the Google image search.

singulair fucked up
I don't know. It's worked pretty well for me.

pictures of children girls {incest pictures} that have sexy horny photos
Focus, searchers! Focus!

eyeball chat gay p
Does this mean anything to anyone?

pirate of a ship with eye patch
I know what they meant, but I'm still picturing a ship wearing a giant eyepatch.

crack fridge
Delicious.

i specialize in cum facials
Spent six years in college for the degree, too.

Comment:
abc on 02-27-2003 @ 03:47 PM CST says: "sjfkls dd d ks jda"
(This person came from Russia, but I don't think this meant anything there, either.)

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February 26, 2003 @ 04:14:49 AM

nude pictures of me breast
Leprechaun erotica?

"I love my best friend" male
You should let him know, in case one of you dies soon.

Spam it's crazy tasty
For all I know, that's true.

Mary-kate and Ashley photo galleries from when they are older
If I could travel forward in time, getting pics of the Olsen twins would likely not make my to-do list.

he ain gonna
... be no NBA.

how to get a 13 year old girl to show you her pussy
First, go to medical school...

pirate mother daughter naked rope nipples tongue cunt
Surely, not all at the same time!

Michelle D* and 2003 and sex and Philadelphia
... and cream cheese and cheese steak...

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February 24, 2003 @ 04:02:44 AM

young girls take in the ass an eat cunt
No, Google. They did mean "an".

a photo of boy kiss foot girl.com
Foot Girl is the coolest superhero ever.

gay bleeding ass pics
Charming.

"girls looking at" my dick cock balls naked
I guess he was hoping to find out how they felt about the experience.

anatomy of catdog pictures funny
Funny and a good vehicle for learning.

learn to speak with an irish accent
Stop telling me what to do, Google.

fuck sutton foster
But she rocks! Rawks, even.

"dirty pirate" sex
It's hard to find time for a shower in the middle of all that plundering.

pictures of taking temperature of dog
It's not easy to keep the thermometer under his tongue.

no manny sex picher
I don't care to see Manny Ramirez have sex, either, but I see no point in searching that.

"gandma I'd like to f
Way better search before Google butted in.

all your pie
I like pie.

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February 20, 2003 @ 06:15:15 AM

pictures of hot women to download to your sims game
We did that for Sim Chris Pronger.

mary-kate and ashley naked now show pics
"They've been naked! You know they've been naked! Now get some motherfuckin' pics of it!"

fat+grils fishing
They need big grills for all that fish they're catching.

im 10years old and in hardcorepics
That's unfortunate.

u of m sluts
U of which M?

free pics of people fucking wearing costumes
Damn straight, they're fucking wearing some fucking costumes. Bitch.

mom made me impregnate her incest stories
Hi, Brother Dad!

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February 17, 2003 @ 03:44:45 AM

adam is a butt pirate
I don't think I know him, but that sounds feasible.

young nude girls 12 years getting out of them urine pic
Or, you could have used a word like "peeing".

best fanny pics ever /jokes
I'm not sure why those two things would go together, but I am sure they aren't here.

cat that saw you naked
In addition to searching a pretty odd thing, this person went through over 900 results.

my nose sucks
It also blows.

aquaman aim theme
I really love the idea of people wanting this.

zelda kiss link love heart
That's way more romantic than most of the Zelda related hits I get.

Comments From the Past Few Days:
horny guy on 02-15-2003 @ 05:12 AM CST says: "where can i find mk and ashley naked?"
(I don't know, but I do know you came here searching mary kate and ashley naked. Shocking.)
dale tramontine on 02-16-2003 @ 12:19 AM CST says: "i am a 38 year old very, very well hung man, with very, very strong addictions for only little girls 10 to16 years old.all horny little sluts, please, contact me.i love fucking, little girls, with my huge cock.
i will jack off for you."
(This person came here searching mary kate and ashley olsen nude pictures having sex. I hope he was either kidding or ready to get help for that addiction.)
Also, a non-disturbing one:
Atlantima on 02-15-2003 @ 09:16 AM CST says: "Actually it's just called Bob Esponja. Or Bob Esponja Calça Quadrada, in Portugal. Squidward is "Lula Molusca", for some reason."

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February 15, 2003 @ 03:03:38 AM

be my nude valentine
It's hard to find heart-shaped boxes of chocolate that say that.

www.stupid men.com
Sounds like someone didn't have such a great Valentine's Day.

what is your momma's number
My Mommy is number one.

nascar slash fanfiction
[insert nascar star one's name] removed his sunglasses, inspecting the sweet ass of [insert nascar star two's name]. "I see a lube job just waiting to happen," he said. Later, they fucked.

show me just a funny naked beach girl picture
It's the least you can do.

penis bot porn.com
Nah, I'm going to build a Tom Servo.

naked diaper enema bottle nipple
Do people just type words that somehow relate to their fetishes into the search box and run with it?

ronald mcdonald porn pics
Now that's my Ronnie McD!

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February 13, 2003 @ 06:16:04 AM

cheerleaders selling there dirty underwear
"Look over there! Those cheerleaders are selling dirty underwear!"

pics of passed out sluts taking dicks please
You'd think the search engines would work harder to find relevant results when the users say please.

birthday card fireman
I'm picturing a buff, shirtless guy wearing a fireman's hat and holding a big hose, and a witty joke inside the card that may or may not mention the hose.

draw tattoos on my pussy
Did you know they do those with needles?

fucking job search
Frustrating, huh?

nude 14 year olds getting a lot of anal pics no credit card or member
Fourteen-year-olds are too young to start collecting the anal pics. Definitely more of a thing to get into in college.

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February 12, 2003 @ 03:05:12 AM

garrett zeile
Todd's little brother?

lick my love pump wav
I use it in place of the "you've got mail!" sound.

picture of mary kate and ashley olsen without makeup
Those may be pretty tough to find.

mary kate ashley olsen grab my cock
How could they turn down such a tempting offer?

Show me a machines fucking to free.
Wow. I haven't a notion.

50 year old Tammy with nice tits and pussy picture gallery
She up and got her some of that there botox, I hear.

"bill nigh the science guy"
Bill Nye is nigh?

nude tarzan shower photos
And Jane brings towels.

pic of dog ugly hot girls
My. They sound sweaty.

good sex pictures that make you horny to look at
That is the usual intent, I reckon.

MOTHER LETTER SON FUCK CUNT COCK INCEST
Rectum? It nearly killed 'im!

photos of sexy women in all the LL Cool J videos
That would probably take a while for someone to compile. (I, too, can bust the rhymes.)

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February 10, 2003 @ 02:50:16 AM

vanilla ice's wife + pictures
I like to think she'd be wearing that "Word to Your Mother" jacket.

young nude art horse cow penis
I hope I get an invitation to that gallery opening.

i am 12 years old and i need my age pussy pics
Don't try to make the search engines think. You don't get better results with simple word puzzles.

cool fishing pichers
Jig 'n pig!

vote for ur favorite nude
v0te 4 me k thx!!!1!

how to drum solo
You play your drums whilst the other instruments stay silent.

proposal marraige grils.com
Fun with misspellings, part umpteenth.

BOYS AND 9 YEARS, OLDS, TOPS, PENIS.
Tops?

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February 08, 2003 @ 04:58:09 AM

"eva crane" not about nightingales
Good luck on that.

pictures    sexy                    of      pregnant   women     fu
There was a total of thirty-three unnecessary spaces in this one, if I counted right.

"waste of a pie"
It totally was, too.

11 year old girls showing they're tits
Indeed they are!

art superman tattoo pics
Superman's first name is Art?

I Got Some Comments:
Lanka Nude on 02-07-2003 @ 08:18 AM CST says: "Sri Lankan Girls like to have it fresh. When they are adult teens, they are very juicy and like more than one guy to cum on them. They like to have 2 or 3 per day"
(I would imagine that's not 100% accurate info, there.)
- and -
A Wade on 02-07-2003 @ 04:42 PM CST says (twice): "Mary Kate and Ashley are hot!"
(A Wade came here searching mary kate and ashley nude, if you can believe it.)

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February 07, 2003 @ 05:37:04 AM

+nifty.org +by the pool +leave alone
I will leave it alone.

pic with my dog cock
That's a horrible name for a dog.

your ad could be here
No, it really couldn't.

can a horse fuck a pussy
A cat? I doubt it, and can't imagine why it would want to.

geocities free sex pics but no mention of sex
Doesn't putting "sex" in the query pretty much guarantee there will be a mention of sex? I question whether or not this was a real search.

how can baby come in world some pictu
Show me da pictu. SHOW ME DA PICTU!!! That's really fun to say. Now go have that special talk with a parent or adult friend.

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February 06, 2003 @ 02:02:33 AM

pics of getting peed by naked girls and 31 inch cock
This must have been a tiny, tiny person.

gay what does cock taste like
Like chicken.

no porn pic how to fuck my mother
"I don't need porn, just advice."

photos of your momma on crack
I don't think my mom uses the crack, but I still don't post pictures of her.

pregnant stoners
Tsk, tsk...

one hundred cocks
They just standin' out there.

itchy tasty log
I'm guessing they mean cheese logs.

the search for girls who like it in the ass
Taking the spot of Joe Millionaire after the finale.

paper crap
You may want to bring that up at your physical.

stoners ugas -gmp -global
If someone can explain this one to me, go for it.

salsa cunt
Mild, hot, or fire?

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February 04, 2003 @ 03:58:27 AM

+"impregnate me" +ad
Call the newspaper. They'll tell you what you need to do.

Breast enlargement pills WalMart
Well, they carry tires and fruit...

livejournal topless embarass
Maybe you should knit it a sweater.

i love my son fat cock in my cunt
There should be a separation of those two thoughts.

what pirate had a parrot called Captain Flint
I don't know. I thought he was just the parrot at Long John Silver's.

game "card protector" -ultra-pro -
It doesn't sound like that's a very fun game.

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February 03, 2003 @ 02:23:49 AM

Pirates!
Huzzah!

girls getting animals put in their pussy
The whole animals, or just select parts?

kids+ rhymes + online
Amusing only because I appear to be the only result.

hairy hole "mother in law" dick
Your mother-in-law is a dude?

i fucked your soccer mom
I don't own any soccer moms.

searching for women who want to eat my 16 year old ass!!!
The exclamation points mean it's exciting.

beer and nachos image
Stoners love nachos.

fat nude men for kids
I'm guessing most kids would rather you get them a new game for their Playstation.

fine pregnant whore
The new fragrance by Mark d'Rogerson.

tattoos of treasure chests
Huzzah!

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February 02, 2003 @ 01:34:23 AM

pitchers on "Valentime%2
That's the real reason to exchange gifts and have a lot of sex.

nude male fucking mvp players pic men
Is that part of the prize package when you're named MVP?

mickey mantle gay
Yep. Flamin'.

basketball fan lolita fucking in the basketball court
I hope the refs stopped play.

what is the name of John Madden's bus
The Madden Cruiser? Something along those lines.

football party gangbang pics
It's a great way to observe Super Bowl Sunday.

marty reasoner love
I haven't personally experienced that.

rick ankiel fucking
I haven't personally experienced that, either.

"rob king" dork
Kind of. Dan Potash seems to be the bigger dork.

show me how to draw pics of athletes
You'll want to give them big muscles.

call the bullpen
I like to send it pizzas it didn't order and ask if the refrigerator is running.

football+ journal
I don't keep one of those, but my football does.

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February 01, 2003 @ 06:47:22 AM

make jewelry unrusty
CLR! Calcium-Lime-Rust! Unrustiness!

sluts named tammy nude
I've never heard of a Tammy fetish.

pirate u letter
I think you should try a little harder to legally obtain the letter "u".

am I pretty enough and nude pic galleries
No and no.

A YOUNG BOY AND YOUNG GIRLS HAVE GETTING KISS AND SUCK
No comment necessary.

+"pictures of me" +fuck -"credit card" pussy -"join now" -sub
No submarine sandwich. Got it.

cock and mexican and "no pop-ups"
Cock fighting! Huzzah!

looking for braski
Bill?

erotic eat fruit from a pussy
You get turned on by eating babies?

son suck mom cunt out after cum in side
In the side pocket?

how to look like the olsen twins
I think you just need to buy make-up and hair stuff from their line.

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