see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

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about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
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March 31, 2003 @ 12:35:06 AM

Albert Pujols nude
Sounds like someone is excited about the start of the baseball season.

Biker Mice galleries
It's good to be hearing from people who love Biker Mice. I wish I could help them with this one.

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No, but I really love the name.

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In no particular order...

Yapping Parrot
Give him something to chew on. Most birds can't resist.

hug
Like, who wouldn't look through 860+ results for the single word "hug?"

cunt Guessing Game
Is this like those episodes of Maury Povich where you try to guess people's genders?

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Back in high school, Illega L. Jail Bait was my rap name.

Goat paper bag puppet
Great source of entertainment, poor source of calcium.

www.drink beer nude.com
Last I checked, it doesn't exist.

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March 29, 2003 @ 02:34:13 AM

the sims+diaper guy
Does he occasionally jump out of the cakes?

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I would throw "incest" into the mix and include Itchy and Lumpy in that one.

i love marty pussy pics
First name: Marty, last name: Pics. Still deserving of love, though, despite the really bad middle name.

"you know you're obsessed with Les Mis when"
... you get "24601" branded on your ass.

SEDUCED BY GRANDMA INCEST STORIES
It sounds more funny than sexy.

magic underage girls.com
Now you don't see 'em... and now you still don't!

+cool +glasses +kids+
I'd go for the Urkel look.

www.i meth.com
I don't.

I LOVE FOR ANIMALS TO SUCK MY TITS
That's very motherly of you. Also, disturbing.

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March 28, 2003 @ 02:23:20 AM

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"Just type in stuff a doctor might do with an ass..."

Hug tits pics
HUG PUSSY
Then, you can move on to her left arm.

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It's the greatest movie of all time.

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Chris is my favorite, too.

"hair this long"
The search engine can't see, but this person may have been motioning with his/her hand.

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Those would make for an excellent buddy icon.

Adult sims objects dildo -hagelaz
Hagelaz? Anyone? Seriously. I couldn't figure it out.

I'll leave you to ponder this:
is one eyed willy true?(the pirate please,only)

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March 26, 2003 @ 01:40:05 AM

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Since Google basically considered this a search for "like pie," I was looking pretty good in those results.

Gahahahaha
This one probably doesn't get searched very often, but when it does, here I am.

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Also available in shower gel form.

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Those come in handy.

www.hot sexy she meal sex.com
Ha, ha! I think this is one for the "Misspelled Porn Network."

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These are a few of the searcher's favorite things.

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They just can't stop watching themselves.

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March 23, 2003 @ 02:02:16 AM

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Tasty-pirate.org: Your source for sexy, tasty urine. (Free shipping for orders over $100.)

www.steak and.cheese porn.com
They go to Steak & Shake, and then they get frisky with the burger.

nude hair cutter
I don't think I'd feel comfortable at that salon.

"pics of me in"
In? Indiana?

my cunt is hungry
Then buy 'er a sammitch.

Sanitary Napkin man
He's like Santa or the Tooth Fairy, but with sanitary napkins.

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So the animals are trained to convince guys to suck each other's dicks?

eat my little pussy out grandpa
"Well, let me put my teeth in..."

gopher groundhog difference
Hmm... gophers attend the University of Minnesota, groundhogs just predict weather patterns.

cute little girls that love old fat men.
They worship them. Well, Buddha, anyway.

www.pregnant lotno grils.com
?????????!

the dominos noid gallery
That should definitely exist.

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March 20, 2003 @ 04:36:51 AM

www.shit girl loves piss girl.com
That's so sweet.

mother-in-law sucks a mean cock
Boy, howdy!

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Maybe your body needs food.

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Lord Fellow?

www.Family Sex Picture.com
That'll be charming on the mantle.

cool pirates
Aye.

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Like a bowling trophy, but with pirates.

petey parrot AND curse
All the words he knows are dirty.

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March 18, 2003 @ 03:28:09 AM

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Those cartoon dudes are h0t.

13 year olds using breast pills pics
You know what would suck? If the searcher thought s/he'd found this picture, but the thirteen-year-old was really taking Advil.

blue dairy queens
Do they serve their burgers just this side of raw?

"jurassic park" "dairy queen" cards
I don't remember those existing, so I probably don't have any.

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"Well, I would like to have another baby, and I do want grandchildren one day..."

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The guys at the bar loved that one.

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Uhh.. love is monkey?

Creepy Comment of the Day:
sith on 03-17-2003 @ 09:24 PM CST says: "I'm looking for girls who are around 12 years old and who will email me nude pics of them-selves."
("sith" came here on a search for free naked 12 year old cunt. I wish him the worst of luck. And why hyphenate "themselves"?)

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March 16, 2003 @ 05:12:24 AM

penguin with "penguin backpack"
BID ON A BATTLEBOT
pay up sucker tattoo pic
fireman paper bag puppet
stories of superman's huge cock
Though they may be cool, none of these things can be found on this site.

my fetish is sanitary napkin
he fucked my cunt in church
Thank you for sharing.

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I don't see this publication appealing to many people.

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Mohair?

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I'd rather get that information in epic poem form.

male cock fighting
As opposed to your female cock fighting.

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I like to think they're a little bit of both.

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I don't think healthy is the word for it. Try "safe".

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Crap!

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Hi, Dickie V. Getting excited about that tournament?

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March 15, 2003 @ 12:55:53 AM

Zeile Spanking
Or cock-punching. Whichever.

Mike Piazza's Penis
Yep. There it is.

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And I'm sure it was hilarious.

pictures "Pat Burrell" butt uniform
I wish my team had butt uniforms.

al hrabosky jersey
Yay!!!

"Jim edmonds" bisexual
You wish.

"david justice"
They found a mint condition David Justice card, there.

"rain delay" kinky fun at the park
That footage from the last World Series their team won really turned them on.

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March 14, 2003 @ 03:57:25 AM

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Those sound like some of the least sexy galleries ever.

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Can't argue with that.

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As opposed to multiple or committed ten-year-olds, I take it.

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That's sweet.

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I want one!

lolita ?hi?? br
... ?!? Hi?

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March 13, 2003 @ 01:48:41 AM

making green beer
Yay!!!

new animal picters
I'm not sure why this amuses me so much, but it does.

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No, that's a hooker.

"i think I might have genital warts"
Then I think you might want to take your genitals to the doctor.

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I haven't had any issues with them. They're definitely OK.

scene where gavroche dies
Eh, it was close enough.

i want to eat cock
You like chicken, huh?

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I totally love this one.

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March 11, 2003 @ 05:40:26 AM

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No, but I do have t-shirts.

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Good bye, pirate DVD!

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So that's why there was a Clown Club at my high school.

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Spring, when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of yahoo grandma tits...

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Yeah, but where can you effectively conceal it?

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March 09, 2003 @ 02:56:05 AM

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Bitch better have my hot sauce.

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I just thought this was fun to say.

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Technically, there aren't any. I doubt that stops anyone, though.

hot ladies tis pussy
Aye, 'tis.

jumble.com a lot of garbage
I haven't been there in ages, but I believe you.

who like pie
We like pie!

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Nothin' sexier than related chickens gettin' it on.

his cock in cow pussy..,incest animal
I like to think the guy the searcher wants to see screwing within the family is part man, part cow.

urkel animated gif
That would kick ass.

"12 days 3 hours 16 minutes"
I'm going to guess this person was confused as to why AIM said someone on his buddy list had been online for that length of time. I see that once in a while, but I have no idea why it happens.

alf sucking cock pictures
Mike Piazza's, I'm sure. People always fall in love with the alien dog creature puppets they work with on commercials.

joe don reames
Don't know 'im.

Commentary by amerryman:
amerryman on 03-08-2003 @ 04:34 AM CST says: "Weird but Ummmmm Okkkkay"
("amerryman" came here searching for photo by carl. I get that hit, in various forms, all the time, but have no idea what people are hoping to find.)

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March 06, 2003 @ 04:28:00 AM

I'm years old and I think I'm sexy
Because age is only a number.

i want to see a close up picture of an illegal or legal 11 year old showing he
Since they didn't finish the search, we can assume it wasn't going to be evil.

funny but nasty barney e-cards
Most likely involving beer.

very important pussy.com
I bet it has theme music.

snaggletooth ho
But are there silver go-go boots?

party aminal
It's funny because I'm me.

"butt crack" "my collection"
I tend to associate the words "my collection" with Chiclets.

crackwhore monkey
An excellent, excellent band name.

Enjoy the Following Comments:
Cassy on 03-04-2003 @ 10:53 PM CST says: "I don't know what the hell your talking about I just saw this page (not the whole site it took me straight to this page) in a search engine. What the hell?"
(I'm guessing that reaction is not uncommon.)

john on 03-05-2003 @ 10:48 AM CST says: "I'm looking forward to the green beer myself, but it's just not the same around here without Blue Snaggletooth and his words of wisdom!"
(He was special, but for every Blue Snaggletooth, there is a season.)

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March 04, 2003 @ 04:41:25 AM

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You don't need a membership. Only paint.

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Even without the misspelling, this still would've been fun.

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Take it to Taco Bell. It'll thank you later.

I'm a real pirate
Arrr, matey. Arr.

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They're like furries, but more futuristic.

PacMan frog images
I have no idea what this refers to, but I'd like to know.

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And a fine Ode to Eggs you found.

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That sounds even more complicated than making a Ronald McDonald.

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March 02, 2003 @ 05:38:12 AM

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And a fine crotch penis dick cock he has, no doubt.

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Those two bits of advice don't compliment one another very well.

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Are you sure you don't mean Ron Turner?

just pictures or 11-13 year old girls
One or t'other, it doesn't matter much.

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With sexy silver go-go boots.

look like kangaroo
Kangaroo Jack?

Free nude pics and they won't come up on are bill
And then the ducks said, "Just put it on our bill!"

The Latest Comment:
AC on 02-28-2003 @ 01:09 PM CST says: "Isn't postin nude pics of anyone under 18 illegal"
(Indeed it is, AC. Indeed it is.)

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