see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001

blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

March 31, 2004 @ 02:31:50 AM

fine pictures of rhino fucked by elephant
It would be sad to catch such a rare event and have the pictures come out less than fine.

pat burrell arrested
What for? Sheer stupidity?

girls interested on donkeys back
That's understandable. There's a lot to see as your tour an area via donkey.

grils take money
A good grill does rarely come free.

getting prednisone out of your system
In my experience, it just kind of happens.

thing about triangle
Incidentally, I don't even know what I was talking about when I wrote the title to that entry.

POG chips, 80's
What about CHiPs pogs?

getting fucked bye animals
"Good-bye, animals! I'll see you when I'm done getting fucked!"

show me your wifes tits
But I don't have a wife. That can't possibly be accomplished.

Triple-Posted Comment:

jamie on 03-30-2004 @ 02:36 PM CST says: "i love you"
(Because it was triple-posted, the love must be three times as strong.)

link    

March 29, 2004 @ 01:49:19 AM

jim iam naked gril
Did Spock say that?

cum flavored tablets
Off the top of my head, I can think of 0 uses for those.

why is pussy meat so tasty
I've never eaten a cat. It has a lot to do with your senses of taste and smell, though.

NUDE WIFE DOES NOT NO PICS
And I do not no have a clue what you want, exactly.

bride of chucky wavs
I'm a sucker for Bride of Chicky related hits.

I got my cock in my 11 yr old daughter
Get it out of there! That's bad for all involved.

champaign enema fuck
Are you referencing The Enema Bandit?

im a 13 year old girl i want nude pictures of girls like me
If Google was capable of independent thought, it wouldn't buy this, either.

how to find a hot slut in denver
Step One: Go to Denver.

daddy does baby's big tits gallery
So is this an adult baby thing, or...?

buying shoes no panties pics
I've never bought my shoes panties. It's pretty much just laces, polish, maybe a Dr. Scholl's insert...

comic pic of an elephant using a toilet
Is it part of a biting political cartoon?

why i have no titty or fanny hair
You just don't. Also, you commented!

Comments, as Mentioned:

Bisto on 03-27-2004 @ 04:55 AM CST says: "Ah you sound cute... the internet IS a haven for scum, peadophiles, freaks and masturbating losers...you have to get used to it. tho its nice to fight back. death to gary glitter!"
(Bisto searched why i have no titty or fanny hair, apparently. I don't know the answer to that or who Gary Glitter is.)

Rik on 03-28-2004 @ 10:53 AM CST says: "I dont know one but id love you or someone else to email me with the recipe one that wont damage your butt lol"
(Rik's talking about fake cum recipes, I guess. Damage your butt?)

link    

March 26, 2004 @ 05:05:02 AM

what if I was only 11 and want to hump a girl
Then you would be 11 and wanting to hump a girl.

sex wedding fuck breed slave
It is a good idea to choose your strongest, most obedient slaves and breed them.

what a pirate really is
A pirate is whatever your heart tells you it is. Or, if you prefer, what dictionary.com says a pirate is. It involves stealing!

www.steak and cheese same old shit
Sick of the Atkins diet, eh?

tight child camel toe clothing pics
You suck, just like my computer.

singulair for a 33 year old
10 mg/once a day, most likely. Consult your physician.

lolita boy and all i want is my dick sucked
Give it time. It almost always eventually happens. Shouldn't you also be wanting video games and food? Not to mention love.

pussy is tasty mommy
Kind of a strange way to let your mom know you're a lesbian, but whatever gets you out of that closet.

Human Beings with a dick and a pussy
Yes, but don't thank me. Thank the Earth's gravitational pull.

grandma was my sex slave
God... I mean, what do you say to something like that?

my daughters playing with her cunt
You phrased it a little crassly, but it's not unnatural that she'd have those desires.

mom,dead,sister,brother,daughter fuck
Yeah... yeah, it is more disturbing with the (I hope) misspelling of "dad."

she hand tits pussy daughter dog
Well, he shoulder dick grandpa ferret. What's your point?

"let my daughter suck"
Just as soon as you let my people go.

underage high school girl showing me her cute butt in little white panties
After all of that above, this hit is barely even amusing.

link    

March 22, 2004 @ 12:03:23 AM

fan gril spiderman
That's interesting, because I always pictured Spiderman's fans roasting him on a spit.

phat daddy's saline
I don't know, but it makes me laugh.

atari journey escape game free download
You know you just love the music.

fuck, pictures,shower, sex, stud, OR dude
It was a really ho-hum request, then they got me with the "stud, OR dude" part.

daddy paid the man to eat my cunt
"That makes him my anti-pimp!"

porn movie where incest names where incest is involve
It's the "where incest names" part that really confuses me.

i like too look at sisters pussy win she sleeps incest stories
Congratulations on your win.

korn love on the cocks paroles
Paroles?

tasty adopted girls
I think that it's wrong to adopt kids so that you can eat them.

girlfriend bleeds when we have sex
"We've only done it the once, though, so maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions..."

the Real GhostBusters slash fanfiction
As opposed to the fake Ghostbusters slash fanfiction.

Questions and Comments:

nerdi_grrl on 03-20-2004 @ 10:45 PM CST says: "I go to Mills College, but I can't get a girlfriend. Why?"
("nerdi_grrl" came here on a search for lawnpig postings. My answer: I don't know; I'm not an advice columnist. Try wearing a T-shirt stating your desire for a girlfriend and see if that makes all the difference.)

mk's hardest fan on 03-21-2004 @ 07:45 PM CST says: "I want to ram my dick down marykate's throat till she pukes,shower her in my piss,brutally ass fuck her then frost her angel face with my cum!"
(This guy came on a search for marykate and ashley. His comment reminded me of my desire to look at images of the Horsehead Nebula with Mary-Kate.)

link    

March 20, 2004 @ 02:42:13 AM

pichers of sperm eggs
What's a sperm egg?

hot pussy in lime archive
That's going to take a pretty big lime.

what is the bigest a mans penis can get
I imagine that that's impossible to determine.

hot hot hot good looking old ladies.com
Well, there's another URL I kind of want now.

Picters of the best football players
That depends on what you mean by "picters", "best" and "football".

Repetitive Comment:

The White Coat on 03-18-2004 @ 03:00 PM CST says: "obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obseesive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive obsessive"
(I'm not sure if s/he's obsessive or saying that I'm obsessive, but either way, s/he typed the word "obsessive" a lot of times.)

link    

March 18, 2004 @ 02:36:39 AM

how do baking powder submarines work
That's a good question, and I don't know.

mary kate kills ashley
Repeatedly? That sounds like a good movie.

how to inject cum in a guys ass
You put the cum in a syringe, remove the excess air, and proceed with the injection.

put your hand in my pussy.com
"Put your hand in my pussy,
Hold me in your arms, baby,
Squeeze me oh so tight,
Show me that you love me too."

That's Paul Anka's best song... DOT COM!

beer add a comment
Go on, beer. Let's see what you have to say.

I've got cum in my pussy
That's incredible! Did you have sex?

Deeply Insightful Comment:

gsdgd on 03-16-2004 @ 03:52 PM CST says: "fgsddfsgdfsgfsreafldhkjshgklahgdsjahighsajkhguwerhl
ghaskjdhdgjklherughuahdjkhukadhgjkheruilghjakh
arleuhlauhgjkhrjahglufjdkalhgruhtglraehiturqopluiaeri;
agha;uhfuiehauhuireyuij;dfknjkio;jblmcx,bncvm,
bnjkhsg.nbm,htrshjkgfuios"
(I edited this comment somewhat. It was far too deep to simply delete, but the long string of letters and punctuation made the screen scroll sideways, and that was really fucking obnoxious.)

link    

March 16, 2004 @ 03:28:14 AM

banana in my pussy or ass advice
My advice: Don't eat it once you figure out which orifice to pull it out of.

pittsburgh pirates and too legit too quit
Oh, it's so the Pirates' year. They're far 2 legit 2 quit.

daddy made me love tits pics
"He helped me appreciate the beauty of the female form through sculpting."

where to get the recipe for crab fluffs?
Not here? (Unless someone posts it in the comments or something.)

Hi I'm a slut and i love to be fucked
Hi, Slut!

24 hour phone pussy
I'd call on my shoe phone.

Two Comments, One Person:

jake on 03-15-2004 @ 02:28 AM CST says: "k i know most you people want fuck them but that last one was not neccessary"
and
jake on 03-15-2004 @ 02:32 AM CST says: "yall r rite stop sayin dat nasty shit"
(Jake came on a search for mary kate and ashley porn. Best I can figure, he doesn't want that lesbian to get her paws on the twins.)

link    

March 14, 2004 @ 04:18:17 AM

horney girls getting ate out by monkeys
Are they groupies of psychologist Karen Horney?

really hot girls taking anal from donkeys free
I hate when the girls in that situation are merely average.

willing mom-son incest is good or bad ?
That's an excellent debate topic, searcher.

gay guys roleplay stores
They stuck the new guy with being KMart.

dogs fucking women with their know in the pussy
Thing is, dogs don't know all that much.

ren & stimpy pog
Yay!

And Some Comments:

maduranga on 03-12-2004 @ 11:28 PM CST says: "all these are bulshit. pls try to give the correct picture wothout misleading the world."
("maduranga" came here on a search for "sri lankan" sexy teens and is either directing this comment at me or the other commenters.)

Licky Pussy on 03-13-2004 @ 07:26 AM CST says: "ok. im a lesbion and i wanna fuck mary-kate & ashley there so fucking hot let me lick there pussy in and out and i wanna fuck them every second!"
(I can't help you with that, Licky Pussy.)

link    

March 12, 2004 @ 03:49:20 AM

picher of pregnant women for born baby
You don't want to try to show a picture to the baby in the womb?

married couples make sex on web gamera
Gamera is filled with turtle meat.

the image has baby cat and under it it says i´m having a bad hair day
I can't help you, searcher, but I actually do know what you're talking about.

"jar jar" "my bad"
Not that this isn't a fine hit as is, but I liked it better when I misread it as "jar jar" "my dad".

furry loincloth naked cum she
I can make no sense of this, but I think it has something to do with a natural history museum.

Charles in charge slash Buddy
Can he please be having sex with the kids' grandpa?

suck me fuck me i'm a slut
"Take me, hold me, mold me, change me and improve me..."

please show tits
At least this one said please.

link    

March 10, 2004 @ 02:27:01 AM

nude jedi
My nude drawings of Yoda aren't porn. They're fan art.

cocaine+off+tits+pics
I guess if you're going to snort coke, you might as well do it in style.

sleeping little lolita his room fucking his father
Were all of these words supposed to be in the same search?

pony enema olsen twins
I don't think I've seen that. Is it from Holiday in the Sun?

i looking for a free dog and can i see a picher
I'm not sure that Google is the best place to find a pet. Try your local animal shelter or newspaper ads.

britney spears "fan fiction" bitch
I know it is, asshole.

link    

March 08, 2004 @ 04:05:24 AM

erotic female wrestling loser gets the dildo
Dude, why does the loser get the prize?

i cant wait to fuck my wifes ass
"I just had to share that with someone! Thanks for listening, AOL search engine."

pics of ,daddy fucks my ass with his monster
I, for one, am going to assume that the word "truck" was cut off from the end of this search.

a pic of dick vitale
No, but I have some of Beano Cook.

bald taco no hairy cherry pie
You're right. Hairy cherry pie does have rhyming in its favor, but it sounds revolting.

"buddy icon" Look...My icon says fuck on it
I like this hit. I don't even care that it might have been searched only to be posted here.

i am 14 and wanna suck
Can't take all that pressure to be perfect, huh?

link    

March 04, 2004 @ 10:03:02 PM

pics pamela anderson in her birthday suite
I wish that I could rent a suite for my birthday. Was there a hot tub and cake?

young nude girls attending an incest party
Did I say "incest party"? I meant "family reunion".

Major League MOVIE NUDE PICS
Well, as long as I don't have to watch Major League Three 3: Back to the Minors again.

nude free little pirates
They're bite-sized!

WADE LOVES ASHLEY
I DON'T CARE

i'm live mature dog fucking
That's a pretty name, little boy.

eating utensil pic
Spork! (Those aren't cool anymore, are they?)

www.drity little gril
www.poor little speller

fucking a woman in ninety year old
So are you in the 90-year-old, or is the woman? I'm confused.

end of the world fuck the kangaroos video
I'm interested now in seeing how the kangaroos brought about the end of the world.

make fake cum taste like real cum
Those taste trials were the most humiliating job I ever had.

daddy's little sluts fuck sex underage free dog
Is it free to a good home?

www.i really really need sex.com
Great. Now I wish I owned that URL.

link    

March 02, 2004 @ 02:28:46 AM

cow lest sexy pictures
This means nothing to me.

21 nude fat ftp michael do not of the day
This makes my head hurt. Of the day?

TOad broken flipper
I hope this person wasn't frantically searching for ways to help his injured toad.

grills peeing on other gril
I'm sicks of hits about grils/grills. Unless they're really unintentionally hilarious.

rules of fucking
I ♥ proper fucking etiquette.

pictures of men fucking the love doll
Not to be confused with the Love Boat.

Pirarate stuff for kids
Try saying "pirarate" ten times fast.

why did she cheat.com
Well, maybe you were working long hours and she was feeling lonely and she met a guy who looked a lot like Jude Law and stuff happened... DOT COM!

horny mother turns to sucking her son's large cock
Well, at least she wasn't reduced to sucking a small cock.

fabio and gumby
I got a lot of hits regarding Fabio following the conclusion of "Average Joe: Hawaii". This was the only one that mentioned Gumby, though.

kids see long dick grils 9 years
AOL wonders: "Did you mean kids see long dickgirls 9 years?"
I think AOL nailed that one. It was as if the search engine was reading the searcher's very mind.

link    

March 01, 2004 @ 03:00:13 AM

QVC Guy "Buddy Icon"
I fully support your decision to use "QVC Guy" as a buddy icon.

grimace costume
I'm pulling together my Uncle O'Grimacey outfit for St. Patty's Day.

historic big tits free pics
That would make a great theme for a series of stamps.

how can my wife drink my cum
Why would this be hard to figure out?

passwords lush boobs
Yep. You could use that as a password.

pichers how to do your own short hair
Oh, I just wear it long.

star wars gangbang fan fiction
Can it be nothing but Gungans?

www.i fucken hate u .com
www.that url hurts me.com

sex pics sandwich cheese penis
I got the penis-shaped cheese slices at the erotic deli.

Dirty Scientific Sluts
They may be dirty sluts, but at least they know science.

buddy icon rick james bitch
I didn't especially like that episode, but I agree it would make a good buddy icon.

link