see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
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blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
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11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

April 29, 2004 @ 03:41:16 AM

stories my neighbors daughter my sex slut
Are they friends?

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Wow! That makes no sense!

"what I'd like to do to the Olsen twins"
This is remarkable only because, as of press time, I'm the only site that shows up on the search.

getting my dog pregnant with my
... dog sperm.

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Dude, that sucks.

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But what if she needs those to drum up business?

fucking himself in ass
He's pretty flexible.

"most wild pitches in an inning"
Thirty.

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That's a rare find, searcher.

Pointless Comment:

Sean on 04-27-2004 @ 05:39 AM CST says: "I want SEX"
(Most people do, Sean. Most people do.)

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April 27, 2004 @ 03:04:51 AM

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Yes, but can you put air in your tires there?

They suck, they fuck, they drink cum
"I'm the barker for a pornographic sideshow!"

jim you made me pregnant you horney bastard
I guess this searcher forgot that he wasn't trying to get something posted in the search requests area of a Star Trek fan fic site.

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We got a cake with strawberry (or possibly raspberry) filling once, and it wasn't very good. It wasn't erotic, either.

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Just cut a picture of a parrot out and glue it to a piece of cardboard.

pics of a bra for a 47-53 chevy
It both lifts and separates.

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Thankfully, no.

Steve Cobb Dobie gets ass kicked
I don't know him, but I do think it's wrong to kick someone's pack animals.

Select Comments:

www on 04-25-2004 @ 05:06 AM CST says: "ffsf"
(It really makes you think, doesn't it? Ffggpy.)

sexybitch on 04-25-2004 @ 01:30 PM CST says: "I'm a 37-year-old woman and I'd luv to fuck Mary Kate and Ashley. Any other takers?"
(Much of the reason the Olsen twins are still famous is that people want to nail them, sexybitch.)

clit on 04-25-2004 @ 03:57 PM CST says: "want to fuck"
(Is this directed towards me or the Olsen twins? Either way, the answer is likely "not with you".)

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April 24, 2004 @ 03:51:40 AM

PICTURE OF A PENIS TIED IN A KNOT
Cool!

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Interestingly enough, he went to prison.

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medical pics of cunt condition
These searchers were, potentially, looking for actual information, and yet they chose to use porno-like slang. Why?

why does jim edmonds wear eyeliner
To get to the other slide. (And because he's really, really goth.)

do vikings football players sleep with the cheerleaders pics
This was searched by a guy who is projected to be drafted by the Vikings. He wanted to know ahead of time if he'd be bagging any cheerleaders.

how to get a girl to cum kiss when she is
When she is... ?

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Alas, s/he didn't have to finish that phrase for me to know what was meant.

is marykate olsen on cocaine
I don't know. Probably.

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Statistic?

production devote horny girls pics
I'm not a pornographer.

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April 21, 2004 @ 02:39:41 AM

should i pop the herpes
That sounds healthy, yes. I'd follow that up with unprotected sex with as many partners as humanly possible, to spread the love.

jake fucking women in the ass
Are you talking about Jake from "Body By Jake"?

jim edmonds into tattoos
Is he? I guess that would explain the flaming skull he had tattooed over his entire face.

gold coast pirate fair
That sounds cool and fun, just like Ren Faire!

should i swallow my own cum advice
I think you should take back every last word of that cum advice.

www.What to do with him with out
Phone sex.

story mom makes me let her eat my pussy
You aren't really letting her, then, are you?

CatDog Huge buff muscles
I get hits like this quite often, but this one really cracked me up.

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Those filthy, filthy, dirty, disgusting, filthy whores.

is it legal to show a webcam to underage girls?
Do you work at Best Buy?

pics of jessica simpson peeing her pants
I wish she would just go away and stop "singing".

Wow!!! Comment:

Jaime Kurtison; 04-19-2004 @ 03:29 PM CST says: "WOW!!!"
(Jaime came on a search for nude underage, so I guess that was a "WOW!!!" of disappointment.)

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April 17, 2004 @ 08:22:46 PM

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That's just spam.

+atari +download +game +"journey escape"
Try atariage.com.

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Once they're older than ten, they'll try a horse.

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I'm really concerned about someone who can't figure out that operation.

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I'm not sure, but it is tough-actin'.

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How does this work? Does an android's age even matter?

two guys one gril having sex
+making +burgers

spit roasting a girl
Did you marinate her overnight first?

women who like to put thing in the ass and pussy.com
Do you mean Thing from The Addams Family?

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I wish I had some pictures of a grill mounting another grill.

hey check out these pics of me and my friends nude and fucking eachother
I suspect that this was searched just to get posted here, but it's still funny.

butthead bald pics
Todd's pretty cool and all, but he really sucks at cutting hair.

I'll Post Some Comments:

richard on 04-10-2004 @ 05:42 AM CST says: "MARY KATE AND ASHLEY YOUR SO HOT FOR A LITTLE GIRL I LOVE TO SEE YOU NAKED IT MAKES ME CRAZY CAN I FUCK YOU BOTH I WILL YOUR VIRGINITY (I HOPE THAT WE FUCK YOUR STILL A VIRGIN)MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
(Thing is, they aren't really little girls anymore, they were homely children, you can't will people into virginity, and there's no reason to believe they own a still a virgin.)

sk8brder on 04-11-2004 @ 11:01 PM CST says: "this site fuckin sucks, rot in hell, to the pig who mde this site"
(I'm not a cop!)

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April 10, 2004 @ 12:53:26 AM

girls in my area who want to fuck
And it would have worked, too, if only he had remembered to list his area.

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Shoelaces?

Sims nude patch + penis doesn't show up
I know! I think it's really disappointing, too.

pets, when you're not home-pics
They usually just work on their novels.

pic baby finding moms breast or tits
Now the baby can thrive!

"Itchy and Lumpy"
I like to include the Holiday Special in my Star Wars marathons, for the sake of completeness.

the tampon in my sisters cunt
Maybe she'll let you have it once she's done.

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Have they been severed and dressed up?

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You lost me at "dog".

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April 06, 2004 @ 09:59:14 PM

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I'm back!

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Oh, that's just perfect.

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Do you know Daisy?

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I can't. :*(

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Face Lover was the worst porn ever.

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Ve?

baking pie in the nude
Cool!

People who worship evil chat rooms
... and the women who disregard them.

i want to a young 12 year old boys dick for free
Now there's a search that could use a verb.

how to make your man enjoy eating his cum
Try to get him to associate it with something he enjoys. Sex, perhaps.

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He cut them out and taped them there.

Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen nude, sex, lovely, babes, blue, red, black, white
Will you accept that in orange?

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I look through the album when I'm feeling wistful.

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It's wordy, but not a terrible band name.

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"Just keeps things to a minimum."

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Were your parents hippies?

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