see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

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blogger archives:
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11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

June 29, 2004 @ 01:27:48 AM

"greg maddux" erection
I bet he's had one of those before!

the best coc sucker
Well, you certainly aren't the best "cock" speller.

fashion + chanel shirt + i fucked her collection
The hell?

britney spears in their bikinis) but not nude or with anyone else
Britney is only one person.

peoria sluts looking for fun
Yes, but will they play in Peoria?

warts on the cock what are they and pics
Congratulations! You have genital warts!

spank me and fuck me right now, Im so horney free
That's the good thing about being "horney" - it's affordable.

football+ kicking tips
I'm the only result for this how?

supper hot 16 years old nude
They better gets some clothing on and come to supper before it gets cold.

girl knot happy dog fucking daddy
Well, seeing the dog thrusting away at your dad would make most children a little upset.

erotic stories of boys taking showers after gym class naked with women gym teacher
Yeah, right, like there are straight female gym teachers.

HORNY JOEL MADDEN FANFICTION
Who is JOEL MADDEN?

leprechaun suck that dick baby
Yes, Leprechaun. Suck it.

moms got nice tits says son
He's totally biased, though, since it's his mom.

salsa muffin man song
The Muffin Boys should make a whole album worth of remixes of that song.

grils like to link dogs
Also, too cook them.

gay man daddy grandpa bear old photo gallery pitcher
Do you really want a bear at the family reunion?

"jude law" and "pie in the face"
I think that this fantasy involves licking the pie off of Jude Law, because he's pretty and pie is tasty. That's actually a pretty awesome fantasy... I could go for some Jude Law and pie right about now. Happy birthday to me!

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June 27, 2004 @ 02:26:16 AM

I've been getting a lot of hits regarding Mary Kate Olsen and her eating disorder. So, I'm devoting this entry to searchers' questions.

marry-kate and ashley olsen twin is sick
Yes, though I think Mary Kate looked amazing, like an anorexic angel!

marykate olsen how much does she really weigh
My sources tell me that she got down to 16 pounds.

with mary-kate's eating problem how much does he weigh?
I don't know who "he" is, but I doubt that Mary Kate's eating disorder will randomly affect other people's weights.

mary kates pussy
I don't know if she has a cat, but, if she does, I'm sure her family will take care of it while she receives treatment.

mary-kate olsen tits
She was never particularly stacked, but her weight loss likely made those even smaller.

Marykate Olsen's shopping
Clearly, she wasn't buying much food.

mary kate and ashley olsen making lesbian love
That's neither here nor there, searcher.

pics of MARYKATE OLSEN AND HER EATING DISORDER
I don't HAVE ANY OF THOSE ON MY SITE.

up going on with marrykate olsen
Hopefully, her weight will be what's going up now that she's receiving treatment.

For more information, please don't bother trying to visit www.Mary Kate&Ashley Olsen's clit.com. And now, a comment:

geneva on 06-25-2004 @ 12:40 AM CDT says: "hi
you are sosososososososososososososoososo
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOl!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(This person searched marrykate-ashely. I put some breaks in the exclamation points because of the scrolling.)

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June 24, 2004 @ 02:15:56 AM

gay sex dad and son man and boy old and young incest seduced -mom -mother -daughter -woman -girl -
day and night tall and short -chicks -female -ho

the pirates name with the gun in his leg
Gun Leg McPirate

i must to 18 years ar older to fucked pictures
Arrr! To 18 years!

pictures from Mary-Kate & Ashley - Cherry pop
Dude, that's in their private collection.

www.i hate white guys.com
Me, too, except for that nice boy who works at the WalMart, and Santa Claus.

i let my 12 year old brother cum in my pussy and i got pregnant
You chose poorly.

MY WIFE NEEDS SEX.COM
Stop asking me to have sex with your wife via my search logs.

The Olsen Twins Comments Never End:

hellomikie92 on 06-20-2004 @ 11:02 PM CDT says: "Why do they want to have sex with yall they may not even xcome near yall you are all probley ugly get a life!"
(Got here on a search for MaryKate and Ashleys email address. I don't know why the Olsen twins want to have sex with all those commenters, either.)

hannah on 06-22-2004 @ 08:13 AM CDT says: "yer get a life"
(My get a life?)

and...

emma on 06-22-2004 @ 09:30 AM CDT says: "im a lesbian and id love to fuck them em ill fuck there dolls in stead"
(Same person for both of these, obviously. Same person who posted all of those comments covered here.)

woody on 06-22-2004 @ 06:36 PM CDT says: "I am a 40 yr old male who would love to fuck Mary-Kate and Ashley any way They would let me. But the thought of watching the two Beautiful sisters please eachother would make me happy if all I could do is Watch. I hope they give us a show of some kind after 18th birthday. Play lesbian sisters in a movie or something."
(Woody done searched eat my pussy mary kate ashley. That movie sounds like it would have a rock-solid plot.)

me on 06-23-2004 @ 11:39 PM CDT says: "i fucking want to bang the hell out of you two holly shit im got a fuck boner just thinking about you 2 right now wow ok so i got to go jack off now"
("me" searched mary kate and ashley olsen's msn address. I love it when they comment as if they think the twins themselves are reading it. Then again, I suppose it's possible they are. Hi, Mary Kate & Ashley!!)

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June 20, 2004 @ 01:44:51 AM

(((young (fat,stupid,handicapped))porno)+free+movies
I think this was actually an experimental poem.

dress like a lesbian pirate
Maybe for Halloween.

little gril yo so fat jokes
You should probably learn to spell "girl" and "you" before you make fun of children.

marykate and ashley best ass?
Between the two of them? Ashley, totally!

lady's over 50 that wants to get fuck
Is that anything like getting Shorty?

"thank you" "drive through" beavis .wav
I guess it would be cool to make your computer say that when it logs off.

big cocks & chef hat photos
I don't have either of those things. :*(

can a baby suck penis instead of nipple
Can I put my fist through a window? Yes, but it's a horrible thing to do.

I put my sexy daughter in diapers and fucked her
That'll be good for her, in the long run.

Insert a live mouse in my pussy pics
So your cat ate a mouse?

gay boy gay gay gay+12old
Gay, gay, and gay! Also, gay!

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June 17, 2004 @ 01:21:01 AM

Stories of little sisters that take in their older brothers cock and make them Jizz
Why did you capitalize "Jizz"?

daddy won't put his cock into my little pussy until i bring all my classmates home to suck his
Don't you hate when they totally leave you hanging like that?

i caught my sister nude fucking a dog
"She was pretty mortified. There's no graceful way out of that."

lick lesbian story ass room bed shower night finger in her ass
Now plug the words into the madlib.

underage young teen porn rings i would join
So, none.

porn incest slut whore evil tit cunt cock cum
Evil?

mary-kate and ashley for horny guys they're almost naked
That's most of what they are for, these days. That and developing products for WalMart.

rogers hornsby vintage baseball bats
I have 30!

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June 13, 2004 @ 10:05:26 PM

stds from swallowing own cum?
Hmm. Do you have any now?

my brother taught me how to make my cunt horney
Oh, he showed you how to search the internet for porn. I thought you meant something else.

phone "free trial code" minnesota
There's nothing like some free Minnesota phone.

"her eat my pussy"
Where does one buy an eat my pussy?

bob costas email comments
Bob asked that I not comment on the emails he sent me, and I'm honoring his request.

make girlfriend do gangbang
Play truth or dare. She'll have to do it if it's a dare, if she wants to preserve her dignity.

daddy's little fuck pig nude
Is it a potbellied pig?

tightest pussy award
Scott Baio was one of the celebrity judges at the finals.

"too much low-quality"
Yeah, but Denny's food can be pretty good sometimes.

SEX YOUNG CUNT WHIP
That's the number of hits plus the number of walks given up by Sex Young Cunt, divided by the number of innings he's pitched.

ashley holding mary-kates leg
She forgot it wasn't hers!

marykate and ashley olsen got caught getting drunk
I sure hope they go to jail.

Ridiculous Olsen Twins Comments (Plus One):

ali on 06-12-2004 @ 09:25 AM CDT says: "show me"
(You're being awfully demanding for someone who searched sexy grils, Ali.)

rachael on 06-13-2004 @ 02:14 PM CDT says: "i love mary-kate and ashley im ther biggest fan if u want there home address email me at

rachael_dean1@msn.com"

and then...

rachael on 06-13-2004 @ 02:18 PM CDT says: "u lot are sick iff mary-kate and ashley where like that they wouldent come near u enyway so stop getting your hopes up and go fuck yuor mum"
(I like that fucking one's mother is offered as an acceptable alternative to lusting after the Olsen twins.)

and then...

SUPPER SEXY on 06-13-2004 @ 02:47 PM CDT says: "do u want a fuck"
(This was posted three times. Also, s/he spelled it "SUPPER".)

and then...

sexy girl on 06-13-2004 @ 02:50 PM CDT says: "how old are u dirty"

and then...

sexy girl on 06-13-2004 @ 02:53 PM CDT says: "if u get this say hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

and then...

sexy girl on 06-13-2004 @ 03:37 PM CDT says: "02392 646 752
my name is hannah"
(OK. If you hadn't guessed, these were all posted by the same person. It's awfully weird, so I suspect the searcher may have just posted so I would write it up here. At any rate, s/he searched find mary-kate and ashleys home address from the UK IMDB, so that's pretty cool. I strongly encourage "dirty" to email this person a message that says "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".)

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June 09, 2004 @ 10:54:24 PM

28 days latter nude pictures
Is this at all like Latter Day Saints?

The incredible holc
He even turned green once! He didn't explode out of his clothes, though.

ye ye in swahili
I don't talk the Swahili.

Differences between skanks and hoes
Skanks are usually promiscuous women who dress in trashy clothing, whereas hoes are gardening equipment.

www.take a look at a penis
Are you talking to me in Yahoo! chat?

www.moms old woman move
Best I can figure, this person's mother just got that stereotypical old woman-style short, curly hairdo.

nude pussy pickle
The human brain is amazing, because while this phrase makes no sense, most of us can still see where the searcher was going with it.

spanking phonesex mom OR moms OR mommie OR mommies OR mommy OR mommys OR milf OR milfs
Well, you certainly covered all of your bases!

horney chicks that know how to suck
Are you looking for ineffective psychoanalysis?

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June 07, 2004 @ 12:40:17 AM

mom is wearing plastic panties,diapers for sex
That sounds like it would make sex a little more challenging.

213 things skippy is not aloud to do
You won't let Skippy say things out loud?

virgin pirate sex story
He set sail a virgin, but then they abducted all those wenches...

taking nude pitchers of your lover
I don't think he would fit in a pitcher. (Unless it was a really, really big pitcher, of course.)

GRILS EAT HER DOGS.COM
Oh, no! They were only supposed to cook the hot dogs!

80's lyrics nobody cares
Well, most people probably don't care much.

the baby sucks [the breast of] its mother pics
Thank you for clarifying.

hot babes who would like to have sex with an 11 year old who was born on October 27, 1992
Why, those would be pedophiles! (Possibly hookers.)

Find HOT SEX WOMAN AND MAN DOING SEX FREE PICHER WITH FAMILY
That scenario sounds really awkward and loud.

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June 05, 2004 @ 01:56:26 AM

lesbians smoking eating ash
Who is Ash?

do moms enjoy watching there sons jackoff
Almost as much as they enjoy misspelling "their".

how many cocks does your wife want in her
If she's chosen to marry me, I'm thinking zero.

lesbians fucking lesbians hard till they scream or cum
Whichever comes first. Hold back on the screaming if you want an orgasm.

spongebob and patrick naked having sex
Why?

why are my parakeet eating their eggs
I don't know, but that does sound disturbing.

natural african spanking
I still prefer the artificial stuff.

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June 03, 2004 @ 02:21:44 AM

That's the tasty fucking water!!!
Yeah, I don't think I want to drink water that you've been having sex in.

free shirtless nude sweaty athletes basketball soccer
If they're nude, they're probably also shirtless.

i want to eat a black womans cunt
OK.

livejournal hayden christensen
Is it one of those fake livejournals wherein "he" talks about having gay sex and getting high?

WOMEN GET FUCKED BYE HORSES
Good bye, horses!

photos of 16 year old lesbians who like to suck and lick fingers
Rollie Fingers?

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