see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
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July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001

blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

July 31, 2003 @ 12:27:46 AM

"crappy fan fiction"
It's the only kind I'll read or write.

oh take those clothes off and show me some pussy
Oh, I think I'd rather not. Or, as they ended up saying on an Opening Night movie:
"Oh, Chelsea! Oh, C-H-E-L-S-E-A!"
"OHIO, TODD! OHIO,TODD!"

how do you fire a cannon and pirate
I'm not sure about firing a cannon, but I think firing a pirate includes kicking him off the ship, perhaps with two weeks plunder.

pictures of chris pronger working out
Preferably shirtless.

"my webcam" boy "i am 14"
"here is my wishlist"

mike matheny's pets
I get a lot of hits about his wife, family, hair and ass, but this was a first.

"this domain expires on"
Yesterday.

penis lightswitch cover
That'll perk up any room!

link    

July 30, 2003 @ 02:56:04 AM

search make me cum show me some pussy
You just searched it yourself, more or less.

mermaids with abs
When you're looking for mythical creatures, there's little room for being picky.

show me the chevy marriage 2001
Who got married at Chevy's? Chris Pronger?

"mike piazza" "no comment" gay
No comment. (Gay.)

"generic cream soda"
... is delicious!

cheerleaders that want to fuck 13 year olds
Wait until you're older. Then maybe she'll want to have some nice, legal, adult sex with you. Try being rich.

www.bad pictures for best girls.com
www.poorly framed photos for nice ladies.com

TAKE PICHERS OF ME ON THE INTERNET
OMG LEARN TO SPELL "PICTURES"

Here's Some Comments:

Mad For Mary-kate on 07-29-2003 @ 10:55 AM CDT says: "I wanna Fuck Mary-kate till she cries + Does anyone have any naked fotos of her? cos i need em!"
(Mad For Mary-kate got here on a search for mary kate and ashley naked. Surprise, surprise.)

butt hole on 07-29-2003 @ 09:22 PM CDT says: "you stupid people dont know jack here"
(butt hole came in on a search for how do you get doubloons for neopets. He also put "tasty pirarate.org" as his URL.)

iincest lover on 07-30-2003 @ 12:21 AM CDT says: "i want fuck my 08 yo girl cosin"
(iincest lover arrived searching my 10 yo daughter incest. But I thought he want fuck 08 yo girl cosin, not 10 yo daughter!)

link    

July 29, 2003 @ 03:24:12 AM

hot mother play sexson porn side
That's incomprehensible. Richie Sexson?

old old grandma fucking and sucking every thing
Well, they get a little senile once they hit old old.

aye aye m pirate
Not to be confused with IMing a pirate.

snaggletooth random
What can I say? It's a popular site design.

"you'll always be a loser"
I know. :{

family taste my pussy pic
That always happens at Thanksgiving!

does boys like fucking with girls?
Them generally does.

I am 14 years old girl i love sex pussy
Who is sex pussy?

sex tits nachos cheese beer cum
That is one nasty stew recipe.

scurvy buddy icon
I'd love to see how one would depict "scurvy" in a buddy icon.

girls eyepatch* -jubei
Well, I certainly hadn't mentioned jubei.

pedophile pirate kelly
"Arrr, maties! 'Tis I, Pedophile Pirate Kelly! Arrr, indeed!"

windows sound pregnant pics
I'll leave you to ponder that.

link    

July 27, 2003 @ 03:13:43 AM

sexy young 12 11 10 year old girls naked and there telephone numbers
That sounds like a good (and safe!) plan for all involved.

naked gotenks pics
What's a gotenk?

www.I-love movie
I never knew that "I-love" was hyphenated!

my slave pig pics
That pig picks cotton with the best of 'em.

im look for a chat room for boys and grils
Chatting with a grill sounds like it would get awfully one-sided.

my girl want to eat her mother pussy
That's freaky. I'd dump her, if I was you.

"penis or cock" horse picture image gay
So is the horse gay, or... ?

whore stories zelda
Those are like war stories, but with hookers and Zelda.

CELEBRITIES WHO SUCK COCK AND EAT CUM
I would imagine that there are quite a few.

get me a hot girl with pics for a date
The AOL search engine is not that powerful.

six grils
I can feel pretty confident "grils" should be "girls," but I can't be sure that the searcher meant for "six" to be "sex."

girls "butt crack" -rock -dawn -fuck -xxx
Not crack rocks, the crack of dawn, or porn. Just the butt cracks of girls, please.

link    

July 26, 2003 @ 03:56:11 AM

"year old cunt" dog -"southern california coed"
Is this hit even real?

two to twenty-three
That sounds like a fun puzzle.

sleeping with incest mom
Rated R

i want to see fat kids th
It always blows when the searchers leave me hanging like this.

SHE'S JUST FOURTEEN
THAT'S TOO YOUNG FOR GENITAL PIERCINGS

BEST DAMN SPORT SHOW / dennis
The slash tells you it's time to switch from caps to lower case.

fake blue snaggletooth
That's illegal and mean and bad!

free hmm 3nt
Hmm, indeed.

link    

July 25, 2003 @ 02:48:32 AM

Louis Molloy, tattoos
Who?

cedar+blogspot+rhythmic gymnastics
Cedar Blogspot is a good soap opera name.

crackwhores love sucking cock
Yeah, but it's just because they're so excited about the promise of crack.

"the wrong house" porn -film -guy -cops -robbers -alan -ralph -C
C would ruin everything!

make me pregnant lolita
Lolita is horrible name for a guy. It sounds like a twelve-year-old girl or something.

"buddy icon" bobby bonilla
Because then, everyone will know how cool you are.

incest sex really young grils without shit
How can grills be incestuous? Grilling shit doesn't sound all that appealing, though. I agree with you there.

bud and nud babes
It's bizarre and it rhymes!

Those Olsen Girls Are Popular:

Louisa on 07-24-2003 @ 02:13 PM CDT says: "i'm a straight girl and even i want to fuck mary kate"
(What more can you say?)

link    

July 24, 2003 @ 04:29:40 AM

i like the hot pirate aim icon
It is nice, isn't it?

gringo jones & me
They've got everything!

mmm gi
I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard at a hit.

fun things to do with rubber bands
You can set up little soldiers and have wars, shooting them with the rubber bands.

1 dollar nude pics
He has a small entertainment budget, but he still intends to enjoy himself.

pirate song bad egg
I haven't heard that one, but it sounds rather not tasty.

link    

July 23, 2003 @ 01:30:01 AM

Albert Pujols Dick Cock
Is Dick Cock his porn name?

"cum eating party" gay
They'll also be serving white wine spritzers and turducken.

underage boy little brother sister ed fucked girl sex
Hi, Ed!

"jammin 105"
Hellz yeah.

CREAMED PUSSY PICS OF MEN EATING THE CREAM OUT OF THE PUSSY
Those instructions are way above AOL's head.

have grils egg
I already cracked all of mine :*(

food pirate wench
"Arrr, she's found the eggplant!"

i am a computer pirate?
That is a question?

small girls like sucking and rape
No, they don't. Maybe sucking, depending on what the hell you're talking about.

34 24 34 nude org
That's a lot of nude orgs.

incest story grandma the girls dont like me
Maybe it's because you have sex with your grandma. That's pretty sick, dude.

And Ashley's OK Too, I Guess:

Hotness on 07-21-2003 @ 08:49 PM CDT says: "Mary-Kate is SOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!"
(Hotness, who has a lovely name, came here on a search for mary kate and ashley naked. Personally, I'd classify Mary-Kate as "hizzot.")

link    

July 21, 2003 @ 04:15:45 AM

sexy 14 year little girl school small small fucking
I laughed at the "small small fucking" thing for several minutes.

how can I photograph my wife when she is not interested
With a camera. (I was result #788 when I checked. That's not at all excessive.)

who to tie woogle
Jim?

naked girls sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass nothing gay
Because he wants to make sure that Google knows how not gay he is. Gay porn would do nothing but totally repulse him. Seriously. He means it, Google.

free 18 year olds girl fuck pics/ they look so much younger1
They don't look a day over seven1

Mike OR Ohio OR Missouri "Jerry Matheny"
Does this mean Mike is a state now?

krispy kreme calendar girls.com
I wish I could open a Krispy Kreme. I think it would do really well here.

pirate with penguin pics
He took the pictures at the zoo. There's a slideshow he can present, if you'd like.

link    

July 20, 2003 @ 03:03:06 AM

small penis laughing
New joke (maybe): "Your penis is so small, it even laughs at itself!"

pirate carribean after credits
Based on what I've heard, there's another scene after the credits.

ten inch club.com
That's a good-sized sandwich.

Mary Kate and Ashley Nude Site Based in New Mexico
Those New Mexicans know their underage nude picture sites, after all.

ian thorpe sleep training
And then he drowned.

10 yo little grils
Yo! Were they George Foreman grills?

www.oh!no!.com
Most domain names omit the exclamation marks. It makes them far more possible to access.

free nude pics of lily's ass
In love, alive, and whole... in Lily's ass.

Jim Edmonds Sucks Cocks
I don't know. He plays some mad phat D.

link    

July 19, 2003 @ 01:42:53 AM

13 year olds that haven't got their periods
Why, they're huge freaks, of course.

cigarette smoking mom incest pics
You've got to light up after some satisfying incestuous sex.

boy, boy-bends
high enema to the 12 year boy
What do these even mean?

How can I get the sims to have hardcore sex?
I'm not sure how hardcore you want it, but I've seen things you can download to allow your sims to have more graphic sex.

"michael ball" indiana
It's no dumber than Gary.

can you show me a pony picher
Nope.

howling dog drum
That sounds rawkin'.

"fake cum" -pedo -incest ingredients
"No, not pedophiliac or incestuous cum! I want to make regular cum!"

secret secret secret secret secret pics of fourteen year old girls sticki
The operative word here is "secret."

www.love come love org
Enjoy this person's comment below.

Not Necessarily About the Olsen Twins:

jitendra on 07-18-2003 @ 06:32 PM CDT says: "i want to love some any hot girl"
(jitendra isn't picky, as long as the girl is hot, and - as mentioned above - came here searching www.love come love org.)

link    

July 18, 2003 @ 01:57:21 AM

my dick is horny.com
Then get him some lotion and porn.

shrunken man or men and toilet slave
For good measure, I'm hoping that the "toilet slave" is also shrunken.

yellow ticket 1800s
I believe it involved a raffle.

my 7 year old pussy was hairy
You spin a good yarn.

real rap real young children kids nude pic
That's it - the Kidz Bopp stuff has gone too far.

damn skippy nude
You're darn tootin' (nude).

I ♥ teh Olsen Twinz!!!1!

dirty slut bitch on 07-17-2003 @ 05:02 AM CDT says: "i am a lesbian and i wanna play with ashley and a double ended dildo
also im going to ass fuck her with a strap on"
(It's a nice plan, dirty slut bitch, but you may want run it by her before you go shoving things up her ass.)

link    

July 17, 2003 @ 12:57:22 AM

blue light saber clip art
Did Jedi Pronger please you?

you've got motherfuckin mail wav
We had one that said, "You've got game!" I'm not sure what happened to it.

daddy likes 12 year old nude grils
At least he doesn't like twelve-year-old nude girls. That would be disturbing.

Texas Roadhouse Calorie
I don't know. Probably more than one.

sarah hawkins treasure planet nude
I'm not familiar with her, but the searcher had no way of knowing that.

Free porn, none of the crap
I have no free porn. May I offer you some crap? No?

At Last, More Olsen Twins Comments:

Mary-kate's my girlfriend on 07-15-2003 @ 03:14 AM CDT says: "MARY-KATE IS MY GIRLFRIEND YOU FUCKS ....... I FUCK HER BRAINS OUT ALL THE TIME AND SHE LOVES TO EAT MY CUM....SLURP SLURP"
(Mary-kate's my girlfriend came here on a search for mary kate and ashley naked. I think that it's nice Mary-Kate was able to find someone to date with such an appropriate name.)

gotenks on 07-16-2003 @ 07:58 AM CDT says: "i am gonna fuck mary-kates ass so bad
she is the hottest female EVAR!"
(I think he should work on his technique first, so that he can do a good job fucking Mary-Kate's ass.)

link    

July 15, 2003 @ 01:51:03 AM

paper moon.com looking for pussy
Why do other sites keep coming to mine for pussy?

lolita pussy thanks andre
That was so thoughtful, Andre!

pirate hair
I'd like to see a pirate with a mullet.

+"jack off" +"olsen twins"
That's just the sort of thing they love to hear.

Mary Kate Ashley Big Sluts Little Girls Turn Into Be
They also love being called sluts, especially via bizarre phrasing.

Richie Sexson butt pics
richie sexson nude pictures
I think some people fell in love during the Homerun Derby tonight.

cardinals suck clothes
I wear mine to Mike Shannon's restaurant after games.

"riding a horse" AND halloween costume
I'm hoping that costume also involves Wade Boggs.

novelty shirts momma
Not until you clean your room!

my wife sucking cock at the adult theatre
Is she on the screen?

link    

July 14, 2003 @ 04:29:24 AM

sexy me pic sex naked pose cute girl
You can put them on your mantle!

pirates slash will/jack
You might want to give the slashers a little more time to write a great story. The movie hasn't been out that long.

sounds wav wood chipper
And they probably don't mean Chipper Jones getting good wood on a ball.

"motel room" hooker pics
hotel parties and home made porns
I'm thinking about rounding up some hookers, renting a room.

non sharp pirate swords
For those pirates who only want to scare their victims.

bitches on their periods getting eat out xxx
They went to IHOP. XOXOXO.

i want my pussy to be fucked by my male teacher
"Afterwards, I want him to get fired."

exchange your link lolita
All right, Steve.

"can i cum inside you"
No.

how does a girl make her pussy taste good?
Hot sauce.

link    

July 13, 2003 @ 03:28:40 AM

"My personal photos" +Love to
"I just adore taking personal photos!"

www.stupid girl.com
It leaves much to be desired.

wives with wedding rings fucking boys
The wedding ring helps confirm that they are, in fact, wives.

to harley old sex
"To Harley:
old sex
Love, Joey"

oh baby!! eat my cunt
Fo' Shizzle!

having sex with andre the giant
Having Sex With Andre the Giant: A Memoir
Rated R

"16 year olds" "what do you get" viagra
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.

photos girls OR girl OR chicks OR women OR babes "eating hot dogs "
"with relish"

grabbed the little schoolgirl cock
Sounds more like a schoolboy to me (unless you actually were referring to a chicken).

how do I make a happy face
Smile?

fat grandma mom lover
I guess this person loves their fat grandma and mom.

10 year old daughter drinks piss from her moms cunt
That sounds needlessly complicated. She should just drink it directly from the container her mom urinated into.

"got my wife pregnant" boys
"Yep. Knocked the little woman up good."

limber wife nude photos
Look at where she can put her feet!

snl content big and tasty mcdonald's
I'm sure this has an obvious explanation, but I don't know it.

link    

July 12, 2003 @ 03:06:50 AM

outfield walls
Hellz yeah!

dairy queen DECORATIONS
"We're throwing a PARTY."

green snaggletooth
No, he's blue. (Or red.)

to make a nude women with costums
Perchance to not.

"Im only thirteen""rape"
That's tragic. Report that to the authorities, not Google.

mary-kate and ashley olsen twins doing stuff underage
I think that could include everything they've ever done.

add nud pics of the wife
It was missing something. Something misspelled.

"Bill Gates favorite" Backstreet
I don't know. Is there a CJ?

BABY GRILS MOMMY
That's sick!

incest please daddy no
Listen to the child, daddy.

mom sucks sons cock best
She also cooks and does his laundry. What girl could compete?

link    

July 10, 2003 @ 03:37:16 AM

octopus wrestling and penis
Together at Last!

Underage lolita nudists, see them play naked and nude. Twelve, thirteen, and fourteen-ye
This one is a real forehead-slapper...

cars with grils on than picture
... and this is another one for the "Huh?" files.

"granny d" july \2003
It doesn't say anything about ass-raping, but at least it's about Granny D.

digital salsa photos
But they're so tempting!

intimate pat burrell
I might buy one of those this weekend.

I need a blowjop
That word always makes me think of Japanimation.

hrabosky the hungo
You bet your ass he is.

nude underage girls people don't want you too see
You know, because it's illegal and you can't spell.

link    

July 09, 2003 @ 03:34:45 AM

pujols sucks
Yep. He's also hideously ugly, and kind of an asshole.

who invented tater tots
I... have no idea.

crap on teepee
That seems awfully disrespectful.

free pics of crack smoking crack
I hate when I spend my entire paycheck on crack, and then - bam! - it smokes itself all up.

12 year old girls want to have sex with me
But that's totally inappropriate, so I think you should turn them down. (Even if you're also twelve.)

tattoos tattooed marineland
Because: "Everybody loooooooves Marineland!"

lick two grils pussy at same time
Best I can figure, this person is grilling cats on two grills at once, and tasting the marinade as he cooks.

jim edmonds secret
He can't get enough of America's Funniest People reruns.

old sluts that eat shit
Yum!

show the picher baby came in pregnant women
What?

Nasty Boy C lick
He bids a fond "word" to your mother.

stupid swayze pictures
Ahh. Roadhouse.

mexican meth sucks
I know! And have you tried that water?

link    

July 08, 2003 @ 03:39:22 AM

egg
And I hope they enjoyed the egg pictures they found.

livejournal + " Mr T" + fired + school
The hell? Is someone trying to get my attention?

what do I need to do to sell amature porn?
1. Find "actors" for your porn.
2. Create the porn.
3. Exchange copies of the porn for money.
(I don't know.)

i want to eat my neighbors pussy free
Maybe you can bargain until it's practically free.

mary-kate and ashley clothing at walmart for women
I think they also sell "marykate-ashley" tires, now.

cow grils hats pics
A cow grilling a hat would be quite the spectacle.

illegal photos of people showing there kids how to suck cocks
Wait... showing where? Where is this "there" you speak of? Jack ass.

pirate talk yer
It's more of an "arrr."

very small underage child girls who have sex & fucked relation with her fathers stories
Sounds like that child girl had best stop reading her father's writings.

link    

July 07, 2003 @ 12:06:34 AM

yo boy porn
"Yo, boy! Come look at this porn!"

+gay +gallery +christmas +sex +"gay santa"
Christmas in July, yo.

fucking porn and make me happy
Stop! Hammer time!

Kangaroo cocks pics
"Go, go, Gadget teeth!"

miss tammy illinois pageant make-up
She's no Miss Nascar.

snarlydwarf
Hi!

grandpa caring for kinky teen
She needs to know that someone loves her, or she'll never stop tying people up and whipping them in exchange for dinner at the Sizzler.

dad 16 can u fuck me incest g
"Incest G" was my rap name, for a time.

how to make meth with red
Just call up Red Schoendienst and ask if he'd like to make meth with you.

link    

July 06, 2003 @ 01:55:40 AM

pog-wall
No, but we had pogs on the wall.

"princess di" cum OR sperm lick OR suck
Way to honor someone's memory, searcher.

mexican straight men with hairy big dicks that need gay males
They're rounding them up for a sombrero sweatshop.

Photo kate hot girl 18 breast
I can't see where anyone would have much need for eighteen breasts, but it would be neat to see.

pictures of fat men using the toilet
"I need to make an icon!"

grandma so good free pics
Why is it always "grandma," as opposed to "old women" or some such? Anyway, my favorite hit ever would be "granny d" "strap-on" +"ass raping" -"campaign finance reform".

Pictures of clothes that a pregnant SIM would where
I think they meant "wear," Steve.

"Pat Burrell"+buddy+icons
I want one of him in his underwear.

+"NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION"
Fucking stamp tax!

link    

July 05, 2003 @ 02:36:04 AM

stereotypical loser
I think I fit the bill!

free pics of little girls getting pregnant by daddy
Awww.

"detroit" "bus" "dsr" "photo"
"chuckwagon" "organ" "etc."

ultra-pro fishing lube
"Without it, I'd merely be a pro!"

hot grils that want have sex with kids
But all they get is more sausage to cook.

www.all nud pichers of just kids pichers
U spell rite güd.

al hrabosky sucks
Don't you be hatin' on my Hungo!

freaky anal cream pies
I think Al would like being mentioned just above "freaky anal cream pies."

porn sex gay teen no "my site" .org
No?

glirs how love glirs
Google says: "Did you mean: glris how love girls"
Yes, Google, they did! YOU WIN!

love crushing cans
It's very cathartic.

link    

July 03, 2003 @ 04:02:21 AM

does 11 year old girls want sex.com
does you have the bestest grammar.com

"cum in my pussy" brother pregnant
Is your brother Todd Zeile?

blue balls cum in pants
That should correct the blue balls problem, at least.

"servicing her brother"
... with tea!

incest story, oh bobby, fuck your mommy with that big cock
I would love to, but I can't take credit for writing that one.

grils go wild
They were making perfectly grilled burgers left and right.

tasty 022002
February 2002 was one delicious month.

pirate passwords for medical sites
There's a huge area of my site not devoted to just that.

i'd incest
I wouldn't.

let me show these little boys your wife pussy
That's not my wife. I'm still against this plan, though.

jim edmonds talking
"Did you all see me go yard?"

link    

July 02, 2003 @ 04:44:33 AM

empty baseball boxes
I buy my baseballs in jars.

todd zeile pregnant
The doctors said it was safe to continue playing, but the morning sickness sure isn't helping his game.

what an internet pirate should know
To avoid opening that "walktheplank.exe" file.

how can i tell what im allergic to
Experience, blood tests, etc. (See your doctor.)

www.love me sex.com
Yes, sex. Love me! Please?

link    

July 01, 2003 @ 03:59:05 AM

pics from the very young and heart girls 10 years old
The wanted sex glirs
These make roughly the same amount of sense to me.

model "love mask"
How much does that pay?

nude 16 year olds to come over your house
They fly over in a helicopter.

the meaning of stereotypical
Let dictionary.com be your guide.

"come to santa butthead"
I've gotta get those DVDs.

please look at my pussy
Okay, but only because it means so much to you.

pics from the mtoc tournament
They won!

link