see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
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January 2005
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December 2003
November 2003
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August 2003
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June 2003
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February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
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May 2002
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March 2002
February 2002
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December 2001

blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

August 31, 2002 @ 10:20:20 PM

funny birthday cards for 16 year old girls
I'd give her an "Older Than Dirt" card. That'd be hilarious.

boy bryce OR poser "drawing" gay
I don't have a clue.

Amazing Ty free pics
No free magician action here. Sorry.

hobbet hotel
You may get better results if you check your spelling.

bottomless pussy
That movie had no plot.

pic of girls no car
But it's so sexy when they put the models with the cars....

see mary kate and ashley naked and in the nude
Dude, one or the other. Let's not get greedy.

phonesex free trial code
You need to go to the Yahoo! chat rooms where people pander for free phone sex.

Mexican ass getting fucked
Well, OK. As long as it's Mexican.

nude in a cake
You'll want to climb in after the baking process.

neopets hot nude
[insert slap here]

free pictures of adam sandler naked
I knew it!

link    

August 30, 2002 @ 04:34:24 AM

a@r?B
I'm floored.

Pussy in Oregon Ass
Try Oregon.

am pm sex "nude naked"
Morning, noon, & night. Baby.

having sex with mother nude ass pussy sleep hot
You lost me at "sex".

nude jenny patch for the sims
Who is Jenny?

peeing pichers
They banned the urine ball years ago.

sexy house wife fucked photos young girl fucked her father photos free
I think this was supposed to be at least two different searches, but they thought they could do it all at once. Losers.

butt naked link and zelda
I would have phrased it "bare ass nekkid".

Star Wars incest pictures
Maybe you'd like this.

grey beard the pirate
The old bastard....

site pirate
I've encountered that. It's very, very bad.

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August 29, 2002 @ 02:47:30 AM

old warez loch ness
That one's so out there, it's amazing that a site as irrelevant as mine is listed second. Because really, how often does a person use "warez" and "Loch Ness" in the same document without having what this person is looking for? The mind boggles.

Uncle Jesse Teens
Do they want some Dukes of Hazzard back stories? The Young Uncle Jesse Chronicles, perhaps?

the tv is broken
Dude, that sucks. I hope it wasn't the fifty-one inch plasma tv.

world cup 2002 naked pics
That World Cup is one big nudity fest.

is greg maddux gay
Yes.

free white teen girls with no membership with nude galleries of
adult baby and Daddy diaper free porn
big cleavage and small kids
nude ten debauchery pics
I'd like to smack some people.

"* * horny *""* year old * *""* * * pussy *"child
You mainly confuse me, though.

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August 27, 2002 @ 02:31:22 AM

erik christine mask "made love"
I'm guessing that it's better with the mask on.

xxx OR or OR hardcore "incestuous sex"
OR or OR Oregon....

free pics of nude carnival
I so don't want to go on those rides.

girls with cum in hair incest
Add a ".com" and we've got another site for the Really Specific Porn Network.

clearly photo of girls pussy
Oh, no 'bout a-doubt it.

water boys nude
Only if they're all as sexy as Adam Sandler. (I'm going to get hits for "Adam Sandler nude" now, most likely.)

nude playing shit
What does this even mean?

ar be dar matey
Arr, indeed.

rick ankiel is pregnant
Hey! Now he's got an excuse to skip Winter Ball!

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August 24, 2002 @ 04:08:15 AM

free sex with mom no membership
Dude, I have no control over your mother's decision to make you join before having sex with her.

free pics of mom that give there son puss
That's was very well phrased.

download sex tv for the sims
I don't think they'd be all that appreciative of the porn.

cute butt crack photos
Cute isn't an adjective I usually associate with butt cracks.

peed her pants amazing see pictures
Amazing isn't an adjective I usually associate with peeing one's pants.

hardcore 11-year-old girl Mets fan
Nope, that doesn't quite pin me down.

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August 23, 2002 @ 12:55:51 AM

10 year old girls pictures have sex with 11 year old boys pics
Ahh, evil and picky.

underage boys fucking girls pat sites
Ahh, evil and not paying attention to spelling.

pussy spectrum pics
Hmm. I don't get it.

pics of children vomit
How do pictures do that?

incest on cinemax
Maybe, if that movie where the guy went back in time and had sex with his grandma was on cinemax.

Jenny Jones one tit
You put that quite delicately.

pictures of the hairy person
Not just any hairy person. The hairy person.

photos of female pirate fashion
Arrr!

All+Fat+Kangaroo+Pictures
Crikey!

love free crap
It is delightful.

horny corn cobb
Any relation to Ty?

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August 21, 2002 @ 12:33:57 AM

naked nude snow ice -eye pictures
Minus eye?

girls with eyepatch are sexy
Maybe that explains it.

+blue balls
I'm not sure how I got listed so high for this one, but I am, understandably, quite proud.

high school, halloween party, photo gallery, girls
You're going to have to be more specific than that.

Gangbang and "August 2002"
If there's one thing I hate, it's an incurrent gangbang.

playa beanies
There are a few ways to interpret this, and none of them make much sense.

"chinese cherry tree"
I don't have one, but I do enjoy cherries.

the nastiest free she-male porn there is
Clearly, you've found it.

difference groundhog gopher
There's quite a bit, really. And thanks for searching something intelligible and non-scary.

sylvia saint
I don't know her.

eat pussy sounds free no membership
Sorry - I'm not waiving the membership requirement just for you.

link    

August 18, 2002 @ 09:09:04 PM

Nice Mex Chicks ,Nude
Nope, not even nice ones.

Albert Pujols nude
Not him, either.

nude girls that wear abercrombie pics free
Nor them.

newborn sex pics
Good lord, no.

nude bobbleheads
Alas, no. And I'd have other things bobble....

Pics Of Vanilla Ice In Sex Book
Not even that.

girl with pat burrell
She's not here, either. She's with Pat Burrell.

photo of Chris using his nebulizer
I don't have pictures of Chris or his nebulizer, let alone together.

assless pants pics
I don't have pictures of people in the pants, or even of the pants themselves.

pictures of cool cars for 18 year olds and 47-54 chevy pick up pic gallery
No and no, but thanks for not wanting child porn.

"spiderman is gay" +gif
Not even a .jpg, not even after google changes "spiderman" to "superman".

Ingredients in fake cum
Can't help you there.

COWNUDE
No.

Instakisses
No!

huge sucker
Hmm. You're right. That sucker is huge.

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August 16, 2002 @ 08:22:25 PM

I've been getting an awful lot of hits lately, despite updating less and less.

oldest nude grandma and gay+novel+grandpa+cum
After all those hits I get for nude twelve-year-olds, it's nice to see someone on the opposite end of the spectrum. Still icky and sometimes confusing, though.

where the little girls are/free pictures
See? These people make me far sicker.

i fucked my 7 year old
And it's off to jail with you!

love timmy sex
As long as you love him.

crotch hunk pics
Just a hunk of a crotch, not the whole thing.

bitches and ho;s
I would expect better punctuation from "bitches and hos" fans.

girls i've fucked
Here's my list:

tom galvine nude
It was more fun before google corrected it.

And for you non-porn search request fans:

retro count chocula shirt
Don't I wish!

priceline.com going bankrupt
I'm the authority on that, you know.

"free crap in the mail"
I enjoy that, too.

the captain arrrrr
Arrrrrr!

And then, the more ambiguous hits:

show paint comic love pic
Come on, google. Show it.

hit boot
Hmm. Cool search engine, though.

Done!

link    

August 14, 2002 @ 07:56:03 PM

mike piazza fan fiction slash
I'd have him share intimate relations with Manny Ramirez.

the sims hooters theme objects
That sounds kind of cool, actually.

"Michigan state" riot+nude
Go, State!

jim edmonds pat burrell sexy
You're going to love the upcoming Cardinals-Phillies series.

arm pussy insertions
You're right. They should be packing heat.

enema mom pics
pichers of how to have sex
SUCK IT HARD
i love much pussy and ass gallery pics
It just ain't gonna happen, searchers.

"crack futures"
Some companies do buy their crack in bulk for use in their products.

"Chiquita" in a song
Can it involve bananas?

photos of girls I fucked in Minnesota
Technically, there is a photo of every girl in Minnesota I've ever fucked on this site. I don't know about the ones you've fucked, though.

link    

August 12, 2002 @ 01:52:58 AM

my homepage has pictures of my hairy pussy
Mine has pictures of Blue Snaggletooth.

free porn no signing up or anything
Do you think this searcher expected to get better results by tacking on that "or anything"?

nude women for free-no pay sites!
OK! (I'm such a sucker for searches with exclamation points.)

new jersey girls getting cream pies pics
They should put a webcam in the bakery.

adult ass munch
They're so much more mature than the younger ones.

anyone have backstreet fan club passwords?
If they exist, I'm sure someone does.

"coke ii" found
That's the way to do it.

"blue snaggletooth"
It's about time!

link    

August 10, 2002 @ 03:09:53 AM

18 year old loser chuck cheese
I was probably there at least once when I was 18, and I'm definitely a loser. (Unless there's a guy named Chuck Cheese who is 18 and a loser....)

jenny jones nude underage girls pics free
I must say, I'm a little surprised Jenny Jones stooped that low.

porn star tiger tattoo on butt
A porn star with a tiger tattoo on his/her butt, or a porn star named Tiger with a tattoo on his/her butt?

my collection of little girls pics
I guess they forgot which URL they posted those at.

Kinkybot
The amazing thing is that I've used the word "kinkybot".

nude pics of too small girls
Too small for what?

live webcam st louis karaoke
No, but that sounds bitchin'.

link    

August 07, 2002 @ 12:18:27 AM

britt reames got a girl pregnant
Did he? I like to pretend he searched for this himself.

my 7 year old pussy was hairy
Most cats do have fur, even at seven.

SNAGGLETOOTH
Still not Blue Snaggletooth, but we're getting there.

"cum recipe" NOT included fake
Damn, but that one's confusing.

link    

August 03, 2002 @ 04:29:26 PM

shannon turner bloodthursty
She's stark-raving mad, and refuses to check her spelling.

wisdom tooth pulled gauze change eat food
I saw this search at DSR, but with "bleeding blood" at the end.

just pic of girls nud
He's not asking for much.

gallery old on boy sex 4
I didn't even know they'd made a Boy Sex series.

07.01.2001 london nude
Why do I keep getting hits for porn on seemingly random, specific dates?

missouri carnival glass
A nice break from the dirty hits. I think. (And I wasn't going for anything with the word "break" in reference to a glass company, though it would have been hilarious if I was.)

peanut NEAR butter NEAR sex NEAR pics
Those are nowhere NEAR here, pal.

nude 12 olds with little tit
But just the one. The other is huge. (The important thing is that this search is attached to austinpowers.com. They figured they'd look into some Austin Powers stuff, then search for badly-worded child pornography.)

anti-pictures of the Backstreet Boys
I'm not sure what this means. Are they against pictures of The Backstreet Boys, or looking for pictures to support their opposition to The Backstreet Boys themselves? Or is it something else entirely?

mike matheny's wife is pregnant
Is she? I don't know. Didn't she have a kid last season? Does she ever wear shoes?

link