see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

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shout out to:
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September 30, 2003 @ 12:38:03 AM

Pictures Of Mary Kate And Ashley Peeing In The Shower
I bet after searching for this for a while, he'd settle for pictures of them simply lathering up.

+mary +kate +ashley +olsen +pussy -lesbo -"free nude pics" -xxx -cat
I just don't see "-cat" in searches involving "pussy" often enough.

how to get pussy
Make huge amounts of money, like A-Rod. Or be really hot, like A-Rod. Or be A-Rod. Or go to bars. Or adopt a cat (though I implore you not to have sex with the cat).

iam good with grils.com
He is, however, less skilled with the spelling.

"hanging gardens of babylon" original writings
I hope this person didn't get really excited about my plan to build a Hanging Gardens of Babylon Hotel and Casino in Vegas, because I don't think that will pan out. (Unless they can give me the money to make it happen.)

how to make the face pretty
Surgery.

pirate theme thank you cards
"Arrr, matey! Thank ye for the charming Christmas napkin rings!"

"from serbia" black pussy
No and no.

free mmm yum yum cum porn org
Don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?

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September 29, 2003 @ 03:51:45 AM

+asthma +roleplay
All right. Today I'll be playing Elizabeth, a sexy 20-something with raven hair and glittering emerald eyes. Her asthma symptoms are largely under control, but she's contracted a cold and is worried that it may lead to bronchitis...

www.i eat cock for men.com
I eat whole wheat toast for myself... DOT COM!

aquaman halloween costume
Cool! You can pretend to talk to all the fish.

Choke the chicken bong pussy porno
I wish I had a chicken bong. I would use it when enjoying my legal smokeables.

free monkey cum
It's not totally free. You'll have to send a SASE.

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September 28, 2003 @ 01:06:43 AM

nude zelda haters
Nude people who hate Zelda, or people who hate Zelda nude?

Enjolras Combeferre love
A popular slash pairing, apparently. I would have them wear furry costumes.

Yes Please!!
You're Welcome!!

naught but nice.com
They are just the sweetest .com ever.

gay sailors horny buddy stories
"Put down that bunch of bananas, Gilligan."
"OK, Skipper!"

gay hairy diaper grandpa boy
Some of these words may make sense together, but all of them in this order? Not so much.

using a baseball bat in my pussy.com
Those are some excited Cubs fans.

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September 27, 2003 @ 01:23:40 AM

i fucked chipper jones
Me, too! It was reasonably hot.

"toys" "glitter baton"
Fun!

cute sexy young underage tops
"cute sexy young underage gardening gloves"

butt crack and im a girl
That's how I label all of my butt crack photos.

drug "icy hot" snort -cocaine -heroine
Dear lord! Is that even possible?

simpsons + "it's hammer"
I love that scene.

show me pictures of when father fuck none in church
So pretty much just a picture of a father not having any sex in a church?

www.I feel luck sex.com
And I feel Coke.

Olsen Twinz Comment:

i like 2 f uck the olsen twinz! on 09-26-2003 @ 08:37 PM CDT says: "can u plzzzzz fuck me now!!!!!!!"
(This searcher was looking for the olsen twinz. The answer to his question is "no".)

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September 26, 2003 @ 04:14:52 AM

Mummified Mermaid pics
Did they find ancient tombs in the ocean?

download "all Your Pie"
That sounds convenient, but I'm not sure how to set it up.

some legal photos of nude twelve and thirteen year olds at the doctor OR anth
I'm guessing that last word was going to be "anthropologist".

Pichers of the rich in the 1800s
The Rich? Rich from Ronnie's?

make her suck young old story pussy
Well, as long as it's young old.

what happens when 13 year old girls get fucked
There are a lot of possible outcomes, some involving prison.

blog and "lucas johnson"
I'd read it.

what a girl should do
Breathe, eat, that sort of stuff.

where to download young sleeping girl - 17 years old and real - teen - lolita -.avi
It would be tragic if you could only get that as an .avi.

"superman tattoo" shaq poster
That must be the coolest person ever! I bet he has a motorcycle.

green apple flavored cum
I mix drinks with it at parties. Well, orgies.

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September 25, 2003 @ 01:18:44 AM

"Michael Ball" poem
M. Ball you so fine.
You blow my mind!
You're ugly. Yeah, yeah, you're ugly.
Bitches so crazy in love.

Eh, good enough.

looking for grandma who take cocks in asshole
That's just wrong. It should be "takes" cocks.

joe buck mcgwire
I think it's cute that he adopted McGwire's last name.

Mike Ditka Halloween
That's one of the best Halloween costume ideas I've ever heard.

pichers if objects
I not objects.

britney tasty ring
Is she eating a Ring Pop?

nose runs
Then you better catch it. HA HA HA!!!!1!

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September 24, 2003 @ 12:24:01 AM

sexy grills in sri lanka
You wrote it with two L's!! Yay.

pie candles birthday
I love the other images that show up on this search.

"my cock" "irish accent" "years old"
It is a pretty old sound clip.

what is thermose plastic
Thermose plastic.

what clothes would i where to look like a pirate?
A loincloth and boots.

daddy make my little girl pussy taste good sex stories
"Give Daddy a minute to grind the pepper, sweetheart."

strip searches, taco bell
They usually don't do that if you use the drive-through.

any hot guys wanna fuck
I doubt it. Guys don't care much for sex.

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September 23, 2003 @ 01:47:46 AM

bat burrell naked pics
I think that would violate MLB rules. I'd watch, though.

Greg Maddux hair pictures
Can it be back hair?

pics of 13 yo almost hairy lolita pussy
Feel free to debate the phrase "almost hairy".

your momma the whore
Hey, we would've starved without that money.

The Sims Nude Patch - make them have dicks
And if they refuse to have dicks, put them to death.

slappin face+spanking+whip
It was a very naughty whip.

GIRLS THAT THEY MOTH ON SOMEONE
Someone is trying to make my head explode.

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September 22, 2003 @ 04:43:02 AM

tiny+gril+fuck+in+the+ass+by+20+inch+dick
It sounds like it would hurt to grill your dick, though.

bus card pirate
"Arr, I lost me license. Arrr."

baby soup pichers & photos
Huh? Is this porn?

yo batty man timmy
Is this porn? Yo!

grils need money
No, they need charcoal.

lobster champaign party
They're kickin' it in the Six Pack!

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September 21, 2003 @ 01:37:40 AM

pictures of vikings sucking cook
He's stirring the soup, they're taking turns blowing him.

prison conjugal visit webcam
As wonderful an idea as this clearly is, it's not on this site.

pirate wrench clothing
A tool belt?

Nude 13 Year Old Girls You Can Have
"Take my 13-year-old - please!"

no daddy that goes in her daughter said porn.com
I've gotten almost this exact same hit before, but "here" was "her". Odd, and it completely changes the context.

pictures of really fat sixteen year olds
We had to bust out a wall to get them to the studio.

shrunken men sallowed alive by
It's sad that the searcher cut this short. Now we won't know what was turning the wee, living men's skin yellow.

i am a guy and i love mary kate and ashley
I'm not a guy, and I have no strong feelings for Mary Kate and Ashley.

A Batch of Comments:

iqbal on 09-20-2003 @ 04:51 AM CDT says: "iqbal"
("iqbal" came on a search for only nude pictures under 14 years, and tells a good story.)

crazy in love on 09-20-2003 @ 09:29 AM CDT says: "I am a girl,I want to fuck with all you guys who put comments we can have sex .You suck my tits ,my vagina and my ass.We can fuck 4 hours I wanna meet all of you guys
I really wanna fuck P.S.I am 12
Everyone wants 2 fuck wit me a school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

crazyinlove2 on 09-20-2003 @ 09:35 AM CDT says: "I REALLY WANNA FUCK RAMON FREGOSO
I'LL SUCK UR DICK 24\7 WE CAN HAVE SEX ALL DAY,FOREVER,DON'T HAVE 2 GO 2 SCHOOL U FUCK ME I FUCK WIT U
SUCK MY TITS MY VAGINA AND MY ASS.WE CAN HUMP ALL DAY LONG CAN'T WAIT TO FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEXUAL INTERCOURSE COMING RIGHT UP
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dirty Slut Bitch_Hi on 09-20-2003 @ 09:39 AM CDT says: "I can fuck wit u, sounds fun we can fuck oh over 10000000000000000000000000000000000
times can't wait!!!!!!!!!!1"
(I'm not sure how crazy in love/crazyinlove2/Dirty Slut Bitch_Hi got here, but I am pretty sure that the "Hi" in "Dirty Slut Bitch_Hi" was supposed to be a "Ho".

Karen on 09-20-2003 @ 11:43 AM CDT says: "I am looking for the bridal gown that Mia Sara wore in Legend.I'm looking for it for Halloween.Please help."
(Good luck, Karen, but I can't imagine that a page with "FUCKING SCARY HALLOWEEN PICS" at the top could have looked very promising.)

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September 20, 2003 @ 01:53:58 AM

ashley grabbed mary kate's tits
"Well, crap. I thought those were mine."

my girlfriend likes it when I lick and slurp her pussy at the same time
I'll keep that in mind in case I ever have sex with her.

sarah naked fucking org
You've found the wrong Sarah's .org.

pirate forum landlubber
Arr, it be time to discuss pirates.

pic galleries of kids fucked and killed
I'm sick of getting hits that destroy my faith in humanity. Seriously, people!

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September 19, 2003 @ 01:44:23 AM

incest gangbang free pics suck and fuck grandma and grandpa pics tits tr
It's just not a gangbang until the grandparents get there. Not a good one, anyway.

GRANDMA MADE ME LICK HER CUNT
DEAR LORD!

13 year olds nude nothing else only underage porn
You must have been very disappointed.

biker pickle lick
Did Bea whip it out at 90 mph? (I'll be amazed if anyone gets that. So, alternate comment: He has a cell phone in the other hand.)

the flinstone+gizmo
I wish there was an alien only I could see in the cartoon version of my life.

arr treasure
Ahoy!

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September 18, 2003 @ 03:27:35 AM

girl advice for 12 year olds
Bathe, and don't snap bra straps unless she asks.

www.bad ass cars all the pictures you can see
It's a bad ass car picture buffet!

affordable pirate costumes
There's something funny about this, but I can't put my finger on it.

kids having sex pichers NOW!!!!
Yeah, yeah, you can't spell and are a pedophile. WE GET IT.

A pic of a guy with big muscles wearing underwear
-pat -burrell (That never gets old for me.)

how mom seduced me to eat her cunt
I was once seduced by a toaster...

placido polanco forehead
He's got one, that's for sure.

"12 year old girls" -big -shemales -asian nude
Sucks when you finally find those 12-year-old nudes and they turn out to be shemales. Asian shemales. Big ones, at that.

close ups of "baby pussy"
Die.

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September 17, 2003 @ 04:07:04 AM

geocities my step mother is so hot
Geocities wants you to prove that by posting her pictures on it.

"Emily Miller" bitch
If I knew someone named Emily Miller, I'd pass that on.

14 inch cock home alone erotic stories
It ate some feed, crowed at the morning sun, watched some Oprah.

mom's anal adventures (maria)
Those All My Children storylines are getting a little out of hand.

"cow penis"
Simple. Elegant. Came from "Vyhledat Googlem."

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September 16, 2003 @ 02:02:13 AM

"extremely fat people"
Tasty-Pirate.Org: Your Home For Extremely Fat People

aol free games jumbles bees
I am intrigued. Jumble bees, you say?

table nude pussy alien nipple
Yes, table the nude pussy alien nipple. We'll discuss it as part of the Thursday meeting.

ruto is horny for malon
Well, duh.

grils have sex with out clothes in the bad
They spelled most of those words right. Good enough.

st. louis blues lightswitch cover
It's about time to break out those hockey lightswitch covers. Seems like the season ended yesterday...

Don Spears In Search Of Good Pussy book
My site was so clearly The One.

surprise diaper wedding plastic pants
Surprise!

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September 14, 2003 @ 02:47:49 AM

stuid bitch
It's extra special when people misspell "stupid."

How does a girls ass taste
Like ass.

Tammy Todd Huge Sex love penis big
Tammy Todd can't get enough of that huge sex love penis.

magic routines pirate
He sticks his hook into the top hat and pulls out the parrot.

e cards porn im sorry
If you send your significant other an e-card with porn, they'll have to forgive you.

Comment That's Just Kind of There:

JOHN on 09-13-2003 @ 05:05 PM CDT says: "15 YEAR OLD PICS OF MEXICAN GIRLS THAT ARE NON NUDE"
(From what I know about JOHN, he loves NON NUDE PICS OF 15 YEAR OLD GIRLS GETTING FUCKED and his caps lock.)

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September 13, 2003 @ 02:30:12 AM

www.i like mother for sex.com
There's a domain that needs to exist. You know, without spaces.

porn cum movie cp OR k "of children"
K? Strike out?

SWASHBUCKLING PIRATE NAMES
Swashy McSwashbuckler.

incest,child brides
Two, two, two disturbing fetishes in one!

no pop up gay boys in bondage gay boys in bondage boys bondage no pop up
Yes, but how do you feel about bondage?

Taco Bell Dog AIM Buddy icon
Yo quiero AIM icons!

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September 11, 2003 @ 07:36:31 PM

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen talking about september 11
Why?

Pics of Mary-kate and Ashley getting caught with their pants down
Literally or figuratively?

neopets when dose the coltzan's shrine
I give it two tablets every 6 hours.

retro fluffs
I don't believe I ever had a fluff. Damn, but those things were lame.

"miniature gong"
Clang!

What hair product is Mike Ditka referring to?
Afro Sheen.

ren seed bag stimpy
Ren gave Stimpy some seed corn?

"penis"+"halloween costume"+"adult"
No Halloween party is complete without a guy in a big penis suit.

grandma seduced me to stick my dick in her cunt
Grandmothers can be so manipulative.

old woman fucking young pirate
Arrr, ye grandma!

offensive pirate names
Peg Leg Pete?

incest basketball momma
Wow. I have no idea.

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September 10, 2003 @ 03:53:26 AM

automatic flushing toilets suck
I concur.

WWW.I LIKE ZELDA .COM
She is pretty cool, and there's a whole legend about her.

"Aquaman" "cock" "fuck" "suck" "ass"
"communicate with fish"

"olsen twins" fucked "her pussy" little cum bitches
I really adore the pet name "little cum bitch."

pussy taste, vegetarian
I imagine they don't eat cats.

midi file maricela
Does she talk about hating haters?

Less Sexual Than Usual Olsen Twins Comment:

Gina on 09-09-2003 @ 11:53 PM CDT says: "HI ALL MY NAME IS GINA AND I HAVE A TWIN HER NAME IS BRIANNA WE ARE 12 AND WE ARE BORN ON FEB. 13TH JUST LIKE MK AND A ARE BORN ON JUNE 13TH I WISH WE COULD MEET EM WE ARE THERE BIGGEST FANS THEY R OUR IDOELS"
(Curiously, this person sailed in on a search for mary-kate olsen's love life.)

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September 08, 2003 @ 08:39:53 PM

yo daughter fuck
Yo! MTV Daughter Fuck!

"jim edmonds" preference
He likes the green.

ashleys a fag
In Gone With the Wind?

"shitloads"
Damn straight.

use of enema in prison strip searches
I wrote my dissertation on that!

wife having fun pic
She just loves playing Chinese checkers.

nude pics to let me cum (and i'm 13 years old)
It was stupid to tell Google your age. Now it's going to refuse to show you porn.

man am i horney
The search string? A little funny. The result listed above me? Much funnier. ("#orgy - Im male with a penis!!")

"beavis driving"
I've gotta get that DVD collection.

"BILL BRASKI" + "IS A SON"
That tends to be the case with males.

get bottled fairies for free on neopets
Tombola! (Or the Fruit Machine, once in a rare while.)

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September 07, 2003 @ 01:50:45 AM

cock sound midi mobile fun
Cock-a-doodle-do!

"to show you my" mommy
It's not a very exciting show & tell presentation, but it'll do.

shocking pirate pictures
Did he get the chair?

Rams National Anthem
It's a lot like the US one, but sponsored by, say, Nabisco.

looking at grils take a dump
Shouldn't that be "taking a dump?"

"sherri parker lee"+backstage
The searcher had no idea that my article was merely a spoof.

"your cunt is sweet"
Thank you.

receipt crap cake
Recipe for crab cakes, maybe?

11 year old girls dream of cock
And then they wake up in a cold sweat.

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September 05, 2003 @ 12:43:36 AM

be 04 pissing on crackwhores
If I ever start pissing on crackwhores, it'll be 2004.

one big picher of a smoke free poster
Smoking is so not free.

nkotb
Whatever happened to those talented young men?

twenty inch dick
Wow, that guy is short.

michael townsend trucking
Michael and Townsend should start a trucking company!

.wav of Mike Ditka
I've never had a chance to wave at Mike Ditka.

"fuck my wife" AND alabama
I'm not really up for fucking your wife AND the country rock group Alabama.

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September 04, 2003 @ 12:03:42 AM

firing and smoking babes' free pics
That sounds really bad for your lungs.

i see 11 year old porn /grils
I suggest sticking with looking at the grills. It'll get you into less trouble.

space pirate org digital
No, I'm a tasty pirate.

microprick
A sleek alternative to "tiny penis."

monsters girls urkel's OR urkels OR urkel -halloween -matters -steve -steven -stephan -jaleel
It was the "-stephan" that got me.

the 14 inch cock club.com
I fell just shy of being accepted.

Will my luck change tonight
Maybe!

www.i need fat sex.com
Are you in a hitting slump?

peeing gasms
Not to be confused with coughing gasms.

my sister wants her brother for sex training
As result 801 of 801, I think that sounds like a great plan.

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September 03, 2003 @ 12:19:46 AM

fuck "rogers hornsby"
It's about time I got this hit.

mike's butt pictures
Mike collects vintage butt pictures, I hear.

tasty thang
In the hizzouse, no less.

erotic stories on meth orgy
"Meth Orgy" is going to be the name of my radio call-in show.

www. freak cock .con
... and it was the best convention ever. The End

pirate tattoos swallow dolphin
As far as common body modifications for pirates go, those are right up there with ear piercings.

panties "mobile, al"
I tend to eliminate that extra layer of clothing, because it's hot in Alabama.

pics of 10 year old girls getting fucked by a hours
Not to be confused with 10-year-old girls being fucked by The Hours.

Comment Which Includes the Word "Elsa":

ahm0sarah on 09-02-2003 @ 12:03 PM CDT says: "Please send me a collection of porn kids. This is more lust than any thing elsa...etc..."
(This person came from this page on Disturbing Search Requests, high on lust for porn kids.)

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September 01, 2003 @ 04:03:20 PM

comments about mary kate olsen when she's legal
I'll try to hold my tongue until then, but it won't be easy.

why do young girls love incest
Because they don't.

* month baby girl sucks cum
The asterisk stands for "320," so it's none too shocking.

perverted priests playing with boys cocks pics
That's some good worshipin'.

illini sugar bowl pics nude
It's a shame they lost, but at least some of the guys on the team looked great in the raw.

writings incest porn daddy daughter sex stories mommy gone sleep with daddy
Once you've gone this far in the search box, you might as well write the story yourself.

hypersomnia 15 hours
Wow! I can only sleep that long when I have pneumonia!

Pa granny sucker
Green apple flavored?

Beauty parlor enema
I also got my nails done.

fuck me hard, let me suck dick
I choose not to fuck you hard, but I won't stand in your way of sucking dick.

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