see also:
Disturbing Search Requests
tasty-pirate.org

other stuff:
about lawnpig
all-time favorite search requests
entries I've posted to DSR

greymatter archives:
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blogger archives:
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 12/07/2001

shout out to:
greymatter

 

 

December 29, 2001 @ 02:23:34 AM

az zahir hakim AND drugs
I haven't heard about that.

pretty good solitaire crack generator
Pretty good, but not fantastic. You don't want to go overboard.

chest hair pieces
Those would be way sexy.

nachos girls.com
Girls of the Nachos, or girls belonging to Nacho?

skee ball and "for sale"
My mom used to call it "skeet ball".

good girl
Walk beside the pony, daddy.

dressed as a girl for halloween
Indeed I was.

"when the pies are baked" "excellent cheese"
I think they may have been looking for my translator specifically.

And, of course, there were plenty of hits for the pr0n (not to be confused with The Prongs):

+tasty +pirate web SITE good ASS
My site is kind of asstastic.

UNDERAGE GIRLS COCK PHOTO
There is a bit of a problem, there....

free pictures gay pirates orgies
The site is crawling with those, if you know where to look.

whats the best underwear for sex
I'd go with none, but I'm no expert.

I'm 45 and i want to see free nude on my computer
Search engines rarely care how old you are. They aren't too helpful sometimes, either.

Blah, blah....

slutty sexy porn chat site for 13 year olds
www.bad nude horny.com
curse of monkey island nude pictures
WATCHING YOU NUDE (stop that!)
pics of people accidentally caught nude
"soon" "girl" "nude"
her ass was grabbed

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December 25, 2001 @ 04:49:23 PM

naked+santa+picture
I always know it's Christmas time when I start to get a flood of hits for Santa related pornography.

nude girl christmas
That sounds like it could get awfully chilly, depending on where it's held.

Beavis and Butthead do Christmas
A fine Christmas special that really needs to be aired more often.

Nude Christmas Cartoons
With a few small modifications, Frosty could be nekkid. And many of the reindeer in the Rudolph cartoons are bare assed.

santa getting a little pussy
Merry Christmas!

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December 23, 2001 @ 04:18:00 AM

martin guerre nude
That must have been the "adult" version they did in Vegas. ("Holy shit, the Protestants are attacking!")

nothing but gay male cocks and sex pics
Nothing more, nothing less. So sorry I couldn't help.

how do u give a BJ
I have no good advice on that.

pics of a sausage up a cunt
I don't think that was what the meat and cheese basket was meant for.

what a 13 year old pussy should look like
There is the one set standard. Anything slightly different means one is a freak.

how much will it end up costing me
Your very soul.

gay porn baseball cap cock fetish boys
Where are they wearing the cap, exactly?

Eye Patch of Plunder
That sounds like a pretty good book.

espn magazine pics water polo
A pretty ordinary request, really, but not one I would expect to lead to my site.

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December 21, 2001 @ 05:05:29 AM

pirate cant
"Did you mean: pirate cannot"
That is a terrible attitude.

litter girls pics incest
Those litter girls need to start putting their trash in garbage cans before they take incest pics for the internet.

free nude pic galleries of little 5 year olds sucking cock
None of those freakishly gigantic five year olds for this perv.

here I am nude
That's great. Now put some pants on.

lazy eye sex gallery pussy
Huh?

gay haired cubs pic*
No, no, Mike Piazza is with the Mets.

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December 20, 2001 @ 04:08:40 AM

grantaire love
Drunken love is the best kind.

actress having sex
Any actress will do. Just pick one at random.

i want to have sex with my cousin
It's good to know what you want. Now go get 'em, tiger.

incest can be fun pics
See? It was a good idea.

i cum for pussy of 13 year olds
Do you also walk a mile for a Camel?

Rush Limbaugh and Country Music Singers
Partners in Freedom.

wow nude
Incredible!

sucktacular
It's always good to come in first for nonsense words.

nude,horny.com and cunt,horny.com
I got these hits from the same person, roughly seven minutes apart. They must not have been having much success.

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December 18, 2001 @ 05:25:41 AM

for all the homies
I'm dedicating this entry to all of the homies. Word.

I want to see your cunt
That is not how to go about it.

should i sleep nude:?
Yes.

the girl is nude outside
Tell her to put a jacket on. She'll catch cold.

illini pussy
That'll put some Sugar in their Bowl.

www.eww.com
You've so obviously found it.

photos of sad couples
Aww.

Confused Flowers
Musical group?

catdog muscle clip
That show is utter crap, but catdog is ripped.

whats a pirate sword
A sword that is used by a pirate.

pirate christmas lights
Nothing says Christmas like stringing up the pirate lights...

free galleries of a sexy gay father christmas
... except maybe that.

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December 16, 2001 @ 03:05:14 AM

I've been getting a few hundred more hits per day lately. Most of them are still for porn. Examples:

free cum bobble pics
What does that even mean?

free nude pictures of 10 to 17 year old girls having sex with men
There's a pretty big age span there. But as long as it's still illegal....

Nude image of 6 years old?`12 years old girl
Is it just me, or does that make no sense at all?

jude law, buns, gay porn
That sounds a lot like my shopping lists.

I fucked my my 11 year old neighbor story
Can you settle for a story about a guy defeating a band of wandering Spanish conquistadors with really hot chili? Because that I have written.

I fucked my step mother
That is worth going through 800+ pages for!

gay hardcore fucking with tris
I hear that's taking the 10 PM spot on Tuesday's on PBS next fall.

I saw you at home nude
I'll let it go this once, for old time's sake, but if you violate the restraining order again I'll have to call the cops.

son take nude pics from her mother passwords free
Even ignoring how disconnected the "passwords free" part of the search is, it's still stupid that they want the son to take the pics from her mother.

pregnant phonesex
T. Herman Zweibel might buy that.

There are a few non-porn hits, but most of them are along these lines:

shit hits the fan image gallery
I would rather put together an image gallery of people fighting than of shit literally hitting fans. That's just nasty.

i want to send a drunken santa card to my friend
Good luck. Nothing says, "Merry Christmas!" quite like Santa passed out under the tree, covered in soot and vomit. (Well, maybe Santa taking a swig of vodka and writing his name in the new fallen snow.)

St. Louis Cardinals suck t-shirts
T-shirts are smaller than donkeys, so I guess that's not too bad.

gay chris pronger
Not according to any fan fiction I've ever written. Now, if the search had been for "high chris pronger"....

picture of a sick Beluga Whale
"Everybody loves Marineland!"

This entry was too long.

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December 13, 2001 @ 04:03:07 AM

+"sea water"+"anal itch"
I hear that seawater can make all the difference. I'm not sure which way I mean that, though.

Notre Damn
I love the Irish.

willing bitch
I'm half surprised I don't get hits for that more often.

Pictures of stoners in the nude
If I'd been to visit my grandma at the right time, I could have taken pictures of nearly nekkid stoners hanging their Christmas lights. Alas, I missed out. (No, my grandma was not amongst them. At least, not that I've heard about.)

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December 10, 2001 @ 02:30:02 AM

another nude picture
They just weren't satisfied with one.

do you nude
Nope.

father christmas picture nude
Now I know that it's Christmas time.

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December 09, 2001 @ 03:16:16 AM

nifty.org+Leonardo DiCaprio
I could not be a bigger fan of either thing mentioned in this search.

i want to see the picture of a naked 16 year old girl free of child having sex
It's a good thing they were so thorough in their search. It led them straight to what they were looking for.

santa mr.t e-cards
Santa and Mr. T, or Mr. T as Santa? I don't think you can go wrong either way.

nude girl watch
That was a much better show than a lot of people give it credit for.

beavis & butthead nude
That does sound hot. Those two had some incredible bodies.

nude snl bitches
Hey, those people are so talented, they don't even need to put up nude pictures.

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December 08, 2001 @ 06:23:49 AM

pinky hairy heels fetish
I hope that I configured this right.

comb-over pics
I know that there will be changes I want to make, but it would be great if things would at least post correctly.

nude college girls with no pop ups
If it won't post, that's so going to suck. (Even more than pop-ups!)

cum and cleavage clubs yahoo
I may even be so distraught that I'm forced to turn to one of these "cum and cleavage" clubs.

stupid girl nude
I still won't be nude, though. But I am number one!

picnic nud party galleries
I am very, very number one.

chicken nude boys gallery
*yawn*

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