Your Momma's So Fat....

She weighs considerably more than what would be considered normal for a person of her height and bone structure.
She may be at an increased risk for heart disease and cancer.
She has to wear a much larger clothing size than many people.
She is often advised to shop in the plus-sized department of clothing stores.
Her percentage of body fat is much higher than what would be considered normal.
She has an increased number of enlarged fat cells.

Your Momma's So Ugly....

She most likely would not be considered attractive by most people.
She has lost all hope of ever modeling professionally.
She was teased as a child.
She has considered getting plastic surgery to improve her appearance.
She has a deflated sense of self-esteem.
She is not pleasant to look at.

Your Momma's So Stupid....

She was often displeased with her grades as a school girl.
She was unable to gain acceptance to an Ivy League college.
She was often scolded by her parents for receiving such low grades.
She had trouble comprehending intermediate concepts.
She was unable to take advanced classes.
She isn't known for her intelligent conversation.
She was not considered for academic scholarships.

Your Momma's So Short....

She isn't very tall.
She wears petite clothing sizes.
She is shorter than some seventh graders.
She can wear spiked heels and still not appear tall.
She had no trouble finding dates who were taller than she was.
Sales people sometimes advise her to look for clothes in the petite section.
She isn't even 5 feet tall.

Your Momma's So Dirty....

She hasn't washed her hair in over a month.
She seldom bathes.
She doesn't smell good.
There is visible dirt on her body.

Your Momma's So Dead....

She has been given a proper funeral, been mourned, and is currently decomposing in the ground.
She is no longer amongst the living.

Your Momma's Such a Whore....

She has engaged in intimate relations with a large number of men.
She has, upon occasion, accepted money in exchange for sex.

Your Daddy's So Bald....

He has very little hair.
He feels like less of a man.
He has tried various methods of regrowing his hair, but all have proved ineffective.

Your Daddy's So Impotent....

He is unable to impregnate your mother.
He feels very insecure, and often questions his manhood because of his inability to function sexually.
He may wish to try Viagra.

And a Quick Red-Neck Joke...

If you look in the mirror, and your neck is red, you might be a red-neck.

More Fun!
This sucks donkey!