Setting: Little rundown house somewhere in France (like you care). Valjean, having been rejected from every other house he tried (and no, he did not get lucky anywhere!), knocks on the Bishop's door.
(Valjean knocks. Door opens.)
Bishop: Come on in, stud, you look like you could use something to eat and a bed. And I'm just the guy to give it to you.
Valjean: Kick ass! I'm an ex-con... does that bother you?
Bishop: Nah... I'm particularly fond of.... uhhh.... 'helping' them.
(Valjean enters, and walks into the kitchen area.) Take a seat, you big
hunk of manhood.
(Valjean sits. Trumpet starts.)
Valjean: I don't see any food, M'sieur. (Trumpet grows stronger. Steady
drumbeat begins.)
Bishop: (Steps in front of Valjean.) You just aren't looking in the
right place.
(Music builds to a frenzy. Hardcore intimacy between Valjean and the
Bishop takes place.)
Valjean: (wiping off chin) Best meal I've had in years.
(The Bishop gives Valjean some candlesticks and shows him to a bed. A few
hours later, Valjean falls asleep, then awakens to find himself
dissatisfied sexually. He goes in search of a prostitute he can buy with
the candlesticks. He is arrested upon suspicion of having stolen the
candlesticks from the Bishop and taken back to his place.)
(Two policemen, clad in leather pants and dog collars, present Valjean to
the Bishop.)
Policeman One: We caught this ruffian out trying to buy a hooker with
your candlesticks. He says you gave them to him, but we don't believe him.
Bishop: He's telling the truth! He provided me with a service last night
which I paid him for.
Policeman Two: Killer. Let him go. (They drop Valjean.) You're free to
go, babe.
Bishop: Good work, boys. Come on in and let me 'reward' you for your
service to the town.
(The policemen follow the Bishop to his bedroom. Valjean goes off,
deciding to keep the candlesticks as a love momento.)